Joe Zychik - The Most Personal Addiction - HELP

Submitted by Van on
Printer-friendly version

Hi everyone,

I recently stumbled upon Joe Zychik's e-book "The Most Personal Addiction", and I finished the whole thing in a day. Everything he wrote about, I felt like I have experienced in trying to get myself off this addiction. It felt very good to have some validation in this area of my life.

Unfortunately, Joe doesn't provide what, exactly, an addict is supposed to do to to start taking positive steps towards recovery. He mentions the keywords ("honesty and motivation", etc), but I didn't find a method. To be honest, I felt pretty ripped off (even though it was a free read! :-). I felt like the answers to my questions were one chapter away, and then the book ended before it was about to begin!

I will say this though: the book does give you everything you need to know about healing a relationship. And I will definitely be taking those steps.

However, I'm still looking for a method to start taking positive steps to heal my personal and professional life. The day to day stuff, if that makes any sense.

Does anyone know what Joe's method is? Is there something better? Any help would be appreciated. I've gone 8 days without porn/mb, but I'm getting those pent feelings again that are urging me back.

Thanks,
Van

I have read his stuff too

I ran across his website while i was doing research for the link between repression and addiction and he does have a lot to say about it but it does seem like he was setting up his site to just be kind of a lure to buy his book. I think what happened was something fell through and he just left everything out there anyway. It was a good read but like you said there arent any real answers. Also a lot of what he said was kind of contradictory.

I used Joe's method to overcome my sexual addiction

This is my first post. I realize I'm replying to a very old post here but in case there are others who would value my feedback I thought I'd contribute, since I overcame my porn/masturbation/orgasm (PMO) addiction using Joe Zychik's approach. I use it now when working with others to overcome theirs.

I ran across reuniting.info when I was surfing about PMO. I was already on track to overcoming my addiction at that point but was seeking deeper knowledge. I realized sex was a pretty important part of my life given that I had become addicted like that. How surprised I was to discover Marnia's work and Karezza! For the first time I understood that sex could have something to do with love. Thank you Marnia for blazing this trail! Smile

I bought Joe Zychik's eBook The Most Personal Addiction in its original form, which at that time included his sexual addiction withdrawal methodology. Shortly after that Joe took the method out of his book because he found nobody was overcoming their addiction in the self-help way he had hoped. So he shifted to offering personal coaching and reduced the book to the preliminary concepts leading up to the point where you actually perform withdrawals.

He's not any kind of con artist. He did as he now says he did offer all of us our money back when he became convinced things weren't working out for people. His method does indeed work. I was able eventually to use it in the self-help manner Joe envisioned, but having done so I understand why he believes it is better used under supervised guidance.

Joe's methodology is an example of what is known as exposure therapy. Most systems for overcoming sexual addiction are 12 step based and entail seeking to avoid one's triggers. Joe's approach is to create a controlled exposure to your triggers so you gradually develop resistance to them. Eventually you can experience everything that used to trigger you and be fine. This has been my own experience.

I think most of the advice I've read on reuniting.info has been similar to the 12 step approach of avoiding porn. I know people claim to have overcome their addiction that way too, so I'm not here to criticize. I do though think Joe's approach is more effective, having tried the trigger avoidance method in the past.

To illustrate the difference between these two approaches, imagine being unable to lift things, and then trying the rest of your life to arrange your experience so you never encounter situations that require lifting. That would be the 12 step approach (perhaps caricatured a bit).

Joe's approach would be to start lifting weights, beginning with light ones, and then gradually work your way up to heavier ones so that eventually you don't have problems lifting things anymore. In other words, you build up your strength so you are no longer weak in the face of the "temptation" caused by your triggers.

I still use porn as form of therapy to this day to ensure I don't become addicted again. I broke the back of my addiction in 2010 and it has been several years now since I had any compulsive issues with PMO like I did in the past.

I can't remember Marnia whether the rules allow sharing web links to one's own external blog and potential monetized services so I've not done so. If that's allowed though I would appreciate being able to do so. I can definitely offer help to anyone seeking to overcome sexual addiction in their life and will gladly make my Skype based services available to anyone wishing to receive some guidance.

Anyway I hope this helps clarify a bit about Joe Zychik's approach! Smile