I'm new to this forum and also new to Karezza. I discovered Karezza about one month ago while I was desperately searching for a solution about premature ejaculation and the fear of experiencing it again with my new girlfriend (the love of my life!)
We are both around 35 years old.
Before I discovered Karezza I was already searching all kinds of informations and knowledge of how to improve a typical man-female-relationship and to ship around the dangerous cliffs that can occur there.
But then when I was searching about tantric techniques to improve sex I found out about Karezza - and was immedieately sold on to it.
What a relieving idea - Sex without performance pressure, without 'failure' ...a way of sex that does not bring man and woman apart but together!
The very first thing I did after the discovery of Karezza was to completely stop masturbating (after doing it since I was 12... and since that very often in my life... okay... I'm not getting younger, so in the last few years I maybe did it two or three times a week... but sometimes to pornography... which more and more disgusted me.)
I then very fast convinced my beloved girlfriend to walk this path from now on and she was right away with me on that - especially after I explained her all the terrible effects, 'normal' sex and especially orgasm has on the brain.
And we both have been there... with all the sad effects of feeling estranged to each other... now we experience a deepened love that is growing and expanding! Thanks God!
Anyway... so far we live in a distance relationship; thanks God we will move together in a few months... but at the moment we only see each other every two weeks for only a few days (pressure... always around the corner)
So, during a two week christmas holiday we started to explore the world of Karezza - after both being used to a life long of performance-driven, orgasmic sex.
I have to admit, in the first days we went always very close to the edge (after often having deep penetration for two hours or more).
My God, did my Ego like that! Finally, no more fear about coming too early... and my God did she love it! The deep, sustained penetration brought us pleasures we never experienced before.
But then... after the first week of 'successfully' having long, amazing sex it started to cause me problems... suddendly I had an ejaculation after a very short penetration. I suppose, my mind was too excited even hours before we started... and all the thoughts about having amazing sex again another night made me quite aroused... not really the idea behind Karezza... I know, I know!
So... anyway... we finished the very first two weeks quite successfully (especially when reading about some couples taking years to achieve whatever kind of Karezza experience)
So, I just came back from my beloved - we only saw each other for a longer weekend and did of course some more Karezza.
The first day was very successful and beautiful and I was amazed that I could last basically forever.
Then - again - the problem occured that suddendly the slightest stimulation of my penis caused me to almost ejaculate... and one time it happened.
The next morning I wanted to try what I read here in the forum: "Waking up together plugged in." And it was so beautiful... and this time I lasted long again. In the evening though we wanted to to another session and this was really the weirdest thing:
After slowly moving in (with lots of oil) I suddendly and like out of nowhere ejaculated. Obviously the tiniest movement of only a few milimetres deeper caused this very strong ejaculation... which was NOT an orgasm I would say. I just experienced my penis pumping the sperm out... and I have to admit that it felt nice... on the other hand I was not happy that it happened... at least she had no problem with it... and unlike many women she did not make a drama out of it. Obviously she was even fascinated that for the first time in her life she could feel how it feels when a man ejaculates.
Another thing that I experience at the moment is this very strong blockage of energy in my whole hara-region and of course my genitals... connected with an overly sensitive bladder. The whole last night I was so overcharged energetically that I could not fall asleep.
We tried to fall asleep plugged in. I put oil on my penis and entered her with a very high level of arousal. Then I tried to move as less as possible. After only a few minutes my erection went away completely. I experienced this before, so I stayed calm instead of going into much movement, caressing, kissing, touching genitals or whatever. The erection came back and I could feel my penis growing back into her vagina... only to go limp AGAIN after maybe one minute of being hard... after that we were both too tired to continue... we had to get up quite early... she fell asleep... but I was too aroused. A part of me would just have loved it to penetrate her and ejaculate inside her (I guess that's the price of having an unwanted ejaculation the day before) ... I resisted that urge... especially because this would disappoint her since we agreed to go the new way of Karezza, we both learned about all the devastating effects to the brain... and also I do not want to feel depleted, empty... depressive even.
But this whole day I felt this unbelievably strong urge to just masturbate and get this tension out of the system... but I keep up my willpower and I know this will go away.
So... so far for the experiences of a beginner. My whole life I was programmed for hot sex... I also watched porn in my life, but was mostly disgusted after a while... I never had problems with getting an erection - on the contrary... premature ejaculation was my problem... that came up in the past with different women... mostly with women who were not relaxed and very demanding and always made a big drama out of it.... which not really helped to get over with this problem.
So, yes... I am a bit traumatized with the negative experiences I made with certain women. Sometimes I feel so vulnerable and the pressure of performance (altough we now try to just be still and feel the energies) is somehow still there.
I guess I am a bit impatient and afraid of having premature ejaculations. I always thouoght it is a problem related to hot sex (and of course it was)... but now my penis feels so extremely over-sensitive... as my whole engery-system does... that I can ejaculate even after moving in slowly, with oil as lubricant... or if I don't move that the erections goes away very fast... because of the fear of ejaculating too early!