Karezza increases oxytocin, but is it not a problem if it does not also increase dopamine?

Submitted by Yuuichi on
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I was reading this: https://www.reuniting.info/will-orgasms-keep-you-in-love

This article and other articles seem to be saying that bonding between male and female is dependant upon mainly 3 hormones: oxytocin (which creates feelings of love and comfort), dopamine (which create feelings of excitement, happiness and longing for the person you like) and serotonin (which help one feel comfortable and satisfied with oneself).

Increasing oxytocin through bonding between two partners, creating a feeling of love and connection, seems to be what karezza is all about. But there is also a lot of oxytocin between good friends and family members. Oxytocin therefore seems to be the basis of friendship and a friendly connection. On the other hand, in regards to romance, when one sees an attractive person one hasn’t seen before, it doesn’t matter how much oxytocin one has in the brain, there is regardless a sudden increase in dopamine, which is desire to get closer to the attractive person (the Coolidge effect).
Also, dopamine, being the hormone of feeling excitement and passion, is responsible for the feelings of romance when two lovers are very attracted to one another and other partners are viewed much less of an option. This occurs regardless of oxytocin (like falling in love at first sight, when one may see or talk to a very attractive person and instantly that person is all they think about, even if no oxytocin-producing bonding activity took place. This is all about dopamine). In a long-term relationship, the exciting feelings of romance decrease drastically. If oxytocin is there, then the couple become like good friends or like family, not like romantic lovers. If there is no oxytocin there, then the couple leave each other if it is socially acceptable to.

So instead of keeping couples in love, perhaps karezza just keeps couples satisfied and comfortable with each other (like friends), while keeping couples in love seems to require the increase in dopamine.

In this article: (https://www.reuniting.info/PTblog/bonobos) pair bonding species (like humans) are more sensitive to dopamine than species which aren’t pair bonding. So this could be that short-term romantic relationships are hardwired into the human brain, all according to the amount of dopamine a partner stimulates. Once there is minimal stimuli by the partner for the brain to make dopamine, then nature has made that person more sensitive to falling in love with a new attractive partner, due to pair-bonding species’ sensitivity to dopamine. Karezza may increase oxytocin, but from what I have read, it won’t stop the sudden increase of dopamine that a new romantic partner brings.

Thanks for reading

Thanks for your thoughts

Right. The suggestion in my work is that karezza is a a sort of biological "hack," a way to steer for a long-term contentment, between the rocks of "enticing novelty" and "habituation."

Abstract reasoning is great, but it has its limitations. Maybe try the ideas for yourself.I-m so happy