Karezza - light on or light off?

Submitted by Proverbs31.30 on
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I have a question for those who practise Karezza: Do you prefer doing it with lights switched off or rather with lights switched on? I realize that, when I do M, that it arouses me much more if I see my body while doing it (even though I'm a woman and I'm not supposed to be so much visual than a man).

I have also heard that it's better in general to have sex with lights switched on, because then you would rather avoid phantasizing even though you are with your partner.

I'm interested in your views on this!

Dim lights initially

I got a dimmer for the table lamp. But that was in the beginning, when we were doing night time sex. Some where along the way, we switched to mornings, and there's dim natural light.


Dosen't matter

Eye contact can be very useful in ensuring that both partners stay focused in the here and now. If a person closes their eyes then they may start to drift away into a private fantasy or otherwise lose some threads of the intimate connection.

However, if a couple is not used to be intimately connected on all levels then prolonged eye contact may be uncomfortable in the early stages. It will come in time.

Let There Be Light

Definitely lights on. Seeing my girlfriend always makes me happy—clothed or naked. Why be in the dark when you can see the love in your partner’s eyes. Karezza isn’t just humping; there is a lot of time making out, touching, and talking. One of my favorite things is to touch and kiss her breasts. Besides seeing her breasts I love seeing her face when I give her pleasure. I love looking at her face when we are taking a break and talking or cuddling in bed.

Last night when I read this question I texted it to my girlfriend for a “woman’s opinion”. She agreed, definitely lights on--but soft. About an hour after her first response she texted, “Otherwise I might get into bed with the wrong guy, if its dark how would it isn’t you.” See another good reason to keep the lights on.

Agree with Maso

I remember with my first boyfriend how it turned him on when he looked at my face and saw the pleasure I had. Well, this rarely happened when we had sex, but I had the impression he needed this to confirm to him that he was doing something right. Anyway, I think I would also prefer not being in total darkness with my husband, on the other hand (as Louie alluded), it might be a bit difficult in the beginning.

Indirect lighting

That's what I would suggest at the beginning if you are feeling shy. Say, the bedroom lights are off, but the bathroom or hallway light is on. It's not absolute darkness, and as your eyes adjust you can see each other.

a little "trick" from Diana Richardson

Look at your partner's eyes and make your eyes open up to what's inside you. It's hard to explain but it works brilliantly, so when I look into her eyes in bed she sees my soul, I open up and my eyes are portals to my soul.

Also and beside the point in a way, when I look into her eyes and feel my love for her, I get an erection. It is just amazing how I find looking into her eyes. It's the depth of feeling, the romantic connection that just makes my penis hard. What can I say :)