I try to fit in socializing when I can. It's mostly as an outsider because I bounce around and try different events. I'm in an intellectual and at times disconnected city. I have some places where I'm a regular. Regular or not, socializing isn't satisfying. Maybe I'm looking for something that isn't there. I know someone is going to say that's why people find a partner to spend time with. I agree. However, it's still useful to make good use of socializing. It seems something is not as it could be if socializing isn't satisfying. I'm not sure if socializing was ever satisfying for me. Yet, I still go. Something must be working on a level I can't process. Times of constant socializing, say when in a foreign country with others have been ok. Although even then that has tended to be due to connecting with a particular person. It still felt a little forced under the circumstances and the satisfaction remained pretty low.
Socializing is a good way to build a life that works and attract a partner who happens to enter that reality. That doesn't seem like it will happen from the model I'm using. Perhaps I'm just in the wrong physical place. It's hard to know because when I've been elsewhere not much has been different. I do wonder why I don't give up and accept my loaner tendencies.
Given how poorly things seem to work in many settings over many years, I'm puzzled and assume I need to tweak something. One thing might be to let others know I'm open to hanging out. That's tough when not close to many people any more. There was a period as a kid when I had somewhere to go almost every weekend just because I asked. I'm not sure how satisfying it was, but it got me out of my box. I also might try doing less and doing what I do better. I don't know what that looks like given that many socialization options are rather shallow in various ways.