Minor Things that Seem to Be Working for Me

Submitted by John G. on
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My wife cooperates, but does not embrace, Karezza. And, even after 25 years of marriage, I am still learning how to effectively interact with my wife. No doubt, I have done some important things wrong for many, many years.

1. It has now gotten through my thick skull that when my wife says, 'I really do not like to be groped in the morning,' that things work out better when I do not grope her in the morning. She accepts massage, but is unhappy if I proceed to groping. So, largely, I have stopped groping her in the morning. She seems appreciative.
2. It has now gotten through my thick skull that when my wife says, 'I do not like it that this Karezza stuff can go on and on and on,' that Karezza does not have a clear-cut -- and relatively quick -- stopping point really does bother her. So, though it seems a bit clinical, I now set a timer for 20 minutes when we begin Karezza. When the timer goes off, I stop immediately. My wife seems relieved and seems more relaxed during Karezza, now.

We are approaching three years of Karezza, now. My neediness really seems to have gone away, largely. My wife seems more receptive to intercourse, now; she seems to enjoy it, instead of acceding to it as a duty. We treat each other much better, now: fewer flare-ups and very few blow-ups.

Thanks for your counsel over the years, Marnia and fellow posters. I could not have salvaged, then improved to this degree, my marriage without you!

This week, I had an e-mail

This week, I had an e-mail exchange with a local friend who is a big fan of Weor. He reminded me that Weor relates that couples went to temples for instruction in sacred sex (Karezza) and that part of the instruction was to banish lust from one's thoughts during sacred sex.

I really need to incorporate that in my practice. Today, during intercourse, I was using a bit of bawdy language with my wife, and had an inadvertent ejaculation. For me, 'heat' comes not only from physical stimulation, but language, too, it appears.

One day I will learn everything I need to consistently avoid inadvertent ejaculation. But, it appears that my path is to demonstrate, and repeat a few times, every mistake possible.

Thick Skull

Yeah, I got one of those...beat that sucker with a bat! won't even make a dent...
Speaking of beating.....the one I just got recently is: if you don't want to cum, don't rub the damn thing!
Gawd, it's so simple and we are sooo complex
Love y'all