My Insatiable Hunger...Needs to be Quenched

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Submitted by MeganW on
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Hi,
I'm a very talkative person. I'm twenty three and have an insatiable hunger for sex....."Mating Sex." To all the people in the world who can't quit their insatiable hunger for sex I will tell you it is better to resist the explosion than live "un-quenched." I'm a very lighthearted; flirty person. I love the reaction I get from my man as well as others with with my indiscreet mouth. I have recently found that I have become very peevish with "Mating Sex." I have two very wonderful people in my life that has told me about Karezza. I'm on board to do it, but my man is not. He states that it is to time consuming and to much work. I have affronted him in the past about "Mating Sex" that has left he and I both embarrassed and sorry. I am addicted and it causes something dark in me to manifest in my thoughts I never thought were possible. I'm harassed by thoughts that I "want more than one partner." I try to deter these thoughts but, the more I continue with "Mating Sex" the stronger that impulse becomes. I have not had "Mating Sex" for two weeks (or less My husband always says my perception of time is way off) because it is a horrible feeling I will give in if I don't resist '' Mating Sex." So, from now on I'm going to wait for my man to notice I'm no longer abiding by the "Mating" rituals in the boudoir. I want to fix me and our relationship in the sexual department. He means the world to me and I never want to hurt him or do something stupid. I will just have to hold out, not give in, and sit within myself. By God I will find a way to quench this insatiable sex habit. I just hope he comes around and agrees to the Karezza. I hope y'all have a wonderful day.

Welcome

I'm having a little trouble following your post, but I think I can give you some reason to be optimistic.

A lot of guys who unhook from heavy highspeed porn use discover that their "real libido" was quite different and more balanced than their "insatiable horniness" while they were hooked. The latter feelings are actually cravings resulting from a brain that has grown numb to everyday pleasures (like one partner Wink ), and is constantly demanding more stimulation.

The challenge is that you will feel extremely restless while your brain is "withdrawing" from its frequent orgasm. The best help we've found on this forum is daily affection (that is not geared toward heating each other up sexually). There are lots of ideas of soothing, "cooler" activities you can do in this article and at the link in the lefthand margin called Bonding Behaviors & Exchange of the Day

You can keep these simple and relaxing so your husband doesn't find them too much work. Smile

Did you see this article? What If She Were Always in the Mood?

some ideas

You haven't had sex for a couple weeks? And your husband hasn't said anything?!

Anyway, I have a suggestion. Next time he initiates lovemaking, proceed as normal, but after he has entered you, hold him close and ask him to lie still for a few minutes. Say you want to savor the feeling of him close to you, and inside you. Let him move just enough to keep his erection, if he needs to. You can enjoy kissing, stroking each other and so on. You can do Kegels, which he would probably enjoy, and probably wouldn't even notice if he was pounding away. So that can be a reward, for him, of lying still.

After a few minutes, tell him how much you enjoyed that, and say you are satisfied already, and don't want to have an orgasm. But let him know if he wants to have an orgasm for himself, that's ok with you. Ask him NOT to try to give you an orgasm. Ask him to STOP if you get too close to the edge.

Please stay in touch, let us know how it goes!

Megan

Sometimes the woman just has to take charge in the sexual arena and I think for you, this is one of those times. Your determination to create a different kind of sexual interaction with your man is a wise one and steering him towards a softer gentler experience in the bedroom will, I believe benefit both of you. Dont be bothered if he whines and complains about your new approach, just keep on moving toward karezza and away from traditional mating sex. One of the wonderful things, is when both partners get on board with this approach the desire for sexual contact goes up. Which I think, for the both of you will be positive and more nurturing.

In some ways, when the woman has an insatiable appetite for sex this can scare off the man. Although men generally wish they had more sex, a highly sexed woman can be seen as a depleteing experience which makes the man keep a distance. Along with "Curious Fellows" recommendations, I think showing your man a quieter approach to love making may make him feel more comfortable, even though he may say he doesnt like it. Go slow and do your best to take the focus off orgasming, especially for yourself. It may take time, but if you stick to your goal I think you will be able to get what you want. These kinds of changes take time, be steady.

an update

Well the thing with the no sex for (nearly) two weeks is I'm the one that craves sex not him. He would be good for once every two weeks. Not sure why? He says it's because it drains him of everything and he can't get in his motivation mode to work on his projects or have a complete day at work without wanting to pass out asleep. I have a few times done Karezza with him and I thoroughly enjoyed it, but he is really only on board because I won't get pregnant. I told him I would rather just please him than that be the only reason he would even do Karezza with me. I'm just trying to be patient with him and it still seems like it's getting no where. thank you for your ideas and will put them to use and see where it goes from their. I hope it will do some good.

P.S. He is not a very affectionate Man what's some good ways to get him to like more affection?

a second update

Thank you so much. Very much obliged for your suggestions. Well I had a talk with my husband last night. He much to my surprise said he was very willing to do Karezza with me he just had some accidents when we were doing it I guess I was giving to much stimulation. I ask him if he would start out with me by helping me discover touch. I have never had meaningful relationships and I never let anyone touch me and he pointed it out to me last night and I realized I crave the touch that I have never experienced. I have certain flaws on my body that I always push his hand away and I realize that. I think it has been much on my part just as it has been on his. I have no idea how to let the complex go and let him touch me. He says that he figures I would come around and not care where he touches me one day, but I keep finding it hard to believe. I love to cuddle, but even then I tuck a sheet between us and there is not much skin to skin which I want very badly. I feel like a big excuse, but this is my first real relationship where I have put my heart and soul in and I feel so disconnected and realize it's a lot to do with me and my complex. Anyway, thank you again very much for your help and support I am still working on it and we had a very nice cuddle touch session last night and I plan on getting past the flaws that he doesn't even care about or acknowledge. So, you have a wonderful day and I really appreciate your help.

wow

so happy you are opening up here and figuring out things. The first step is being aware of issues we have. Then we can often overcome them with much less effort. Just being aware, observing yourself, non-judgmentally, might be enough to break through. Already there is progress, great progress, now that you've identified this as an issue. It is exciting, working through these things, and self-realization. A wonderful thing. I think Karezza is a huge help in this direction. It exposes these hidden issues and makes them much easier to deal with.

at Emerson

Thank you. I have a long road ahead of me on letting the judgmental of myself go, but I'm working at it. I do say it has been very exciting. I appreciate your comment. This is actually the first relationship that I actually let someone touch me so this has been quite an experience for me.

Well Megan, it sounds like

Well Megan, it sounds like you had a very good conversation with your husband and opening up to more touch is a wonderful area to explore. If you can both talk about this kind of stuff like you did you'll make great progress. I'm glad to hear he is more willing to explore karezza with you.

Well done, Megan!

There are lots of kinds of touch. When you're feeling hesitant, maybe switch to a non-threatening (to you) type of touch. For example, what's your favorite non-erotic touch? Head massage? Foot massage? Find out his. You two can spend an evening just exchanging those kinds of touch, too, and I bet you'll find it very soothing. It'll still help melt away the old fears.

Keep us posted!

Sure will

Thanks Marnia and Darryl. By the way I have heard so much about you too from my Mother in Law Donna. I am so glad to finally get some advice from you two along with Donna she has been a wonderful inspiration for me. I hope y'all have a wonderful evening and hope to keep the updates positive in the coming.

No wonder

your husband was willing to try karezza, seeing as how the suggestion came from his mom!

I've given Cupid's Poisoned Arrow to my parents AND my kids. My Mom hinted to me that Dad was "trying some of the stuff in that book." My kids haven't shown much interest so far, but at least they know about it. Don't know if I'll have the nerve to tell my kids-in-law about karezza, whenever my kids get married. Smile

Cupids Poisoned Arrow

I have the book. Just wondering how I would tell my Step Daughter about it when the time comes. I guess I'll figure it out when the time comes. Yes she is the one who told me about the book I bought it and read it aloud to my husband and he was on board, but it was a rocky start we did it a few times and resorted back to Mating Sex. That just wasn't working so I finally got it that I would have to be the one to put my foot down and say this is what I'm going to do and I hope you will join me. I was so happy when he said yes let's give it a go.

Marnia

They are my heroes too. They have been so good with the information and are troopers because it's now a year later since we've had the information about Karezza and they are still willing to tell me about it and help me with any questions I have. By the way CURIOUS FELLOW and MARNIA (just wanted you both to read this one) this morning before my husband got up for work he spooned me and rubbed me then we connected. It was so wonderful. I loved it No coming for me, but he had a little accident (I know this is a bit of open info here but goes with what we did) and did not come in me. I asked him if it got to heated for him and he needed to go please don't go inside me. I asked him this because if he goes I go and I don't want to come. Oh and Marnia I read the Women: does orgasm give you a hangover. Boy that one hit the nail on the head for me. I have those symptoms after Mating Sex. Now for these past three four days now of only loving, touching, and no coming did I realize I had no bad after effects. I'm so grateful for this approach in sexual healing (what I call it). I do still have those I guess you would call "Withdrawals" from the dopamine because I find myself wanting to thrusts when he is going so delicately slow with me. I still fight the urge even though I do enjoy it it's just not worth my witchyness afterward or the non-motivation I experience. Marnia this one particular paragraph stuck out to me while reading the article:

"Back to postcoital distress. Might the tearful, testy women be at one end of a spectrum, with symptom-free women at the other end? What if women in the middle simply haven't correlated milder symptoms with sexual activity? What if the effects are so subtle in some women that they automatically project them onto a partner, and blame him for being irritating, insensitive, more selfish or less attentive? Or what if some women experience neurochemical ripples later in an extended cycle, such that they can't easily make the connection? "

I am the tearful testy and blame him for being irritating, insensitive, and more selfish. Also less attentive. I'm just glad with my mother in laws help that I began to notice it in myself and I'm not left in the dark trying to figure out why I'm going crazy. Also, Karezza was the best help ever. Along with Eckhart Tolles book "The Power of Now."

No worries

Most of us have had our share of inadvertent orgasms along the way. Wink

The good news is that some people say there is less neurochemical "fallout" after an inadvertent orgasm than after an orgasm you "go for." That makes sense because anticipation and drive are certainly associated with rising dopamine.

It's definitely a relief to discover that you're really a very nice person after all, isn't it. Biggrin

 

Being Nice

Most definitely. It does feel really great to realize I am nice. Yes I think it was a different experience for him to accidentally have an orgasm than to go for it. He wrote me in text today and told me that he didn't feel drained and about to pass out at work today from the mishap this morning.