This time round I added some extras to my absitinence plan.
- Set up Open DNS on my machine to block PN
- Set up some router rules to block PN sites
- Create some really long passwords 20 Characters and mixed upper lower case
and save these as print outs away from my machine.
No massive urges to look at P for a good few days. The light bulb idea (mentioned on this site) ...
"I read something yesterday that said mental pop ups are like light bulbs. The ones that last for a second are 5 watt, 2 seconds are 60 watt, and three second ones are 600 watt. In other words, the quicker that fantasies are extinguished, the easier they are to resist... "
I also found that the red cross helped me a lot.
"As soon as an image pops up, I throw the red X with a black background over it and block it. It's actually becoming more and more automatic, and I feel significantly better emotionally when I DON'T entertain the fantasies. They are like giant brain teasers that leave me all wound up with no place to go."
I'm not sure why I relapsed after 13 days. Maybe the start of the 2nd week is where it starts getting harder for me (I did seem to have some strong urges in the preceeding 2 days), that seems like a possibility reading other people's thoughts here.
One thing that I noticed is that I've been stressed over the last couple of days about my work. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, and when I can't figure something out straight away I get kind of stressed. I've had some stupid programming task to figure out, there's been no real pressure from my employer todo it, but it's been annoying me that I cant sort it.
So, back to quitting PMO.. the plan this time is the same as before plus..
- Approach work in a more rational manner - If i cant do something immediately - break it down into smaller steps. Basically give my self adequate time to complete the task. Don't pile pressure on myself!