New Here: Quick Story and Question

Submitted by Red26 on
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Hello,
This is my first post and I hope I am posting in the right place.

I have struggled with Porn/Internet Sex addiction for some time now probably 10 years and I am finally ready to quit. I kind of half way tried before but now after some recent events and reading I am convinced that my addiction is real and needs to end. I am determined to re balance myself.

Two months ago, I became furious with myself over my actions and punched my computer. It stopped working and I immediately was ecstatic that I wouldn't be able to get online anymore. I decided not to get a computer for about a month during which was a nice break from porn ect. I felt better, but I was still masturbating daily. I didn't feel any withdrawal symptoms or anything, I just felt a bit relieved to have so much free time and not spending it online. After a month of no porn/computer, I decided to get a new laptop feeling it was essential to my life. I immediately relapsed because I had not built any willpower to consciously avoiding porn.

One week ago I decided I needed to stop, it wasn't even hard, I was just so ashamed and did not have any libido anyhow. So I went the whole week reading about porn's effect on the brain and educating myself. As a man of science, this was the most convincing reason to quit over anything. However, this time I started to feel very depressed, then anxious, and sort of sick, similar to the withdrawal symptoms described. I have had severe depression and anxiety problems in the recent past, so this was not unusual. So I am kind of reluctant to think that my quitting of porn had anything to do about it but it just seemed like the timing was accurate for someone having porn withdrawal symptoms. I am just unsure of it. And it makes me wonder if my problems with depression/anxiety had something to do with my addiction and I was just unaware of it. It is just odd that I did not have any symptoms when my computer was gone, but now I have them full on. If I am having withdrawals, how long will it be before they are lessened? Last night I woke up panicking and could hardly sleep.

Anyhow, it occurred to me that I may need to stop jerking off altogether in order to re balance my chemicals. This scares me. I have gone three days without jerking off, probably the longest I've gone in several years, and I am afraid I will not be able to hold off. I have been thinking about it all day, even though I have no libido to do so, I want to do it out of habit. Does it get easier as time goes on? Or harder? I can see this being a big issue in a few days when I expect to have some libido back..should I just take it slow and try to maybe jerk off like once a week or just go cold turkey.

Hi Red

Cold turkey I reckon. M perhaps is going to lead to other things. If you are still thinking off P when you do and those image are there you could be firing up the old neural pathways and keeping them active.
I found just not masturbating was the thing to do. When I relapsed once it was after M.
It does get easier but can take a long time. The benefits are very worth it though.
Habits take time to break.
Find some new healthier ones - exercise more?
Stay with it!!!

My recommendation is:

My recommendation is:

-real sex with a gf or steady partner
-gradually reduce jerking off to once every day, then once every other day, then once a week

You will get there! Exercise and proper nutrition are essential elements of this equation as well.

Hi Red26,

Hi Red26,

I'm with IM1969, i would do cold turkey. If you stop slowly, you're just deluding yourself. I once tried keeping something back and i didn't get better. I even said to my sexuologist, when i went there, that i didn't want to stop right away (cold turkey) at that point, but i wanted to lessen it, do it less often. After a while i found out this wasn't working...

Does it get easier as time goes on? hell yea, i'm happy to say it does... now, for me 5 months later, i don't have urges at all anymore to go PMO.

The symptoms you're mentioning are most likely from withdrawal yes. My gf told me that while i was rebooting i showed a lot of withdrawal symptoms. I felt bad, argued alot, even almost left my gf... for pmo.

Well good luck :) i hope you go cold turkey, and for at least a full reboot :)

Withdrawal symptoms

can be very nasty. You said you read the descriptions. Did you read this long version? WITHDRAWAL As you'll see, they compare with drug withdrawal symptoms, which makes sense, actually.

There are lots of suggestions for regulating your mood here: ♦Solo Tools Some of the most powerful are exercise, time in nature, socializing, meditating, and exchange of affectionate touch.

BTW, Gary was chronically depressed for years. It cleared up mysteriously after we met and began practicing karezza. Who would have thought it??

People generally make the most progress with cold turkey simply because occasional masturbation triggers the Dreaded Chaser. Do You Need A Chaser After Sex? It can also keep you in a "self-medicating" loop because you're desperate to avoid withdrawal misery.

But whatever you do, be gentle with yourself. This is a big adjustment for your brain. Let us know how it goes.

Thanks for the advice

Thanks for the advice everyone! I am on day 6 of no PMO and it does seem to be getting easier. The first few days were terrible, but it seems the extremes have eased. It is hard for me to tell what my normal state of mind is though. I am already feeling somewhat better, but I'm trying not to get too ahead of myself. It is easy to compare my feelings now to how they were 6 days ago, but I guess it is hard to gauge what is really "normal" if you have been on PMO for several years huh?