This is my first post and I hope I am posting in the right place.
I have struggled with Porn/Internet Sex addiction for some time now probably 10 years and I am finally ready to quit. I kind of half way tried before but now after some recent events and reading I am convinced that my addiction is real and needs to end. I am determined to re balance myself.
Two months ago, I became furious with myself over my actions and punched my computer. It stopped working and I immediately was ecstatic that I wouldn't be able to get online anymore. I decided not to get a computer for about a month during which was a nice break from porn ect. I felt better, but I was still masturbating daily. I didn't feel any withdrawal symptoms or anything, I just felt a bit relieved to have so much free time and not spending it online. After a month of no porn/computer, I decided to get a new laptop feeling it was essential to my life. I immediately relapsed because I had not built any willpower to consciously avoiding porn.
One week ago I decided I needed to stop, it wasn't even hard, I was just so ashamed and did not have any libido anyhow. So I went the whole week reading about porn's effect on the brain and educating myself. As a man of science, this was the most convincing reason to quit over anything. However, this time I started to feel very depressed, then anxious, and sort of sick, similar to the withdrawal symptoms described. I have had severe depression and anxiety problems in the recent past, so this was not unusual. So I am kind of reluctant to think that my quitting of porn had anything to do about it but it just seemed like the timing was accurate for someone having porn withdrawal symptoms. I am just unsure of it. And it makes me wonder if my problems with depression/anxiety had something to do with my addiction and I was just unaware of it. It is just odd that I did not have any symptoms when my computer was gone, but now I have them full on. If I am having withdrawals, how long will it be before they are lessened? Last night I woke up panicking and could hardly sleep.
Anyhow, it occurred to me that I may need to stop jerking off altogether in order to re balance my chemicals. This scares me. I have gone three days without jerking off, probably the longest I've gone in several years, and I am afraid I will not be able to hold off. I have been thinking about it all day, even though I have no libido to do so, I want to do it out of habit. Does it get easier as time goes on? Or harder? I can see this being a big issue in a few days when I expect to have some libido back..should I just take it slow and try to maybe jerk off like once a week or just go cold turkey.