No ejaculation= thinking of sex a lot

Submitted by ramon46 on
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Hi everyone. I would like to know what to do. I have no problem about not ejaculating in sex. But after some days I think a lot about sex if I dont do it for long. I do not want to think of sex that much, well in fact, I would like to think about sex just a bit.

This is a big adjustment for your

brain, and it makes sense that it would keep sending out bleeps of "Go get it!" We all have sensitized pathways for important activities like sex, and it takes time for them to adjust to a new level of activity. It's actually normal for the cravings to get worse for a few weeks after you cut back.

This article might be of interest: Why Do I Find Porn More Exciting Than A Partner? | Your Brain On Porn

its harder at first. (that

its harder at first. (that just came out that way...) in my experience.
after a while, the energy seems to go into other things, but is right there super dynamic if you do start getting into it with a partner...
the longer i go, the more i look at people differently, like, people, rather than, it would be neat to see her naked...
try not to obsess about sex,,,get your attention onto something else. but i don't think even the most saintly of us won't think about sex once in a while.

Relax

While you help yourself by not fantasizing, some of the shift happens naturally. It just takes time. So while it's great to practice redirecting your attention, don't despair if it's difficult now.

What's wrong with thinking?

maybe thinking you shouldn't think about sex is the problem. Instead, make it a constant meditation - it's beautiful to remember the feelings of sweet non-orgasmic embrace ~ better than thinking about war. I once read an clip from an ancient manuscript that suggested "recalling sexual embrace" as a form of God-Realization.

This is going to sound

This is going to sound archaic. And really is I guess. But it honestly has helped me not obcess about sex when it is getting out of hand. Which I really have a problem with. Especially fantasy/mental imagery .. without porn .. developing and running a feasible fantasy tries to grip my every thought and even creeps into my meditations I do to allow desires to pass.
What helps me is ice water. Not my whole body. Not all the time. Just when I am overly obcessing or have started down a fantasy path in my mind and need to stop. Or even when I feel that anxiety pang that makes me just want to orgasm to feel OK for a little while.
OK so this sight is very literal and graphic but I will try to not sound ridiculous. The image of me doing this is ridiculous but it is what works for me. I take a large ball jar (no pun intended) you know the canning jars. . I guess a large glass or mug would work but the jar is the perfect size for me .. I fill it halfway with ice and to the rim with water.. and then.. emerse my whole penis and testicles in it.. firmly pressing the rim of the jar all around the base of my entire business do to speak.. including some of my perineum or taint. I usually do this over the bathtub because overflow happens.. but depending on how engorged or not you are you can estimate less displacement and not fill the jar as much. I emerse for anywhere from a few seconds to a couple minutes.
This is not as difficult or uncomfortable as it might seem. I know a cold shower or cold body bath or cold penis rinse might have the same effect but for me I hate getting my whole body wet and cold. I don't even like much cold water running down my inner thigh. So the jar works. Oddly enough it suppresses my mental desire for a while. It also feels emotionally for me like I am tangibly doing something to help my feverish desire. Like the action of using those water vapor cigarettes to help some obcessive object in mouth inhale satisfaction without the chemical release. Again my oddness here but showing attention to my penis to actively alleviate my desire and placing it and my testicles inside something with care and a little activity seems to emotionally satisfy something. Along with the icy cold palpably reducing some flood of chemicals my testicles must be making. The ice water shuts the party down... I'm just sayin. I have just thought of a name for my technique.. Ice Tea Baggin. Nothing to do with taxes. :)

Well it doesn't really just

Well it doesn't really just work for me. If it sounded like a cold jar of ice water was some kind of complete solution .. this is very far from the truth. It is one tool for me to help reduce my nightmare.. which this really is for me and I am constantly coping with it. So don't think you are abnormal or alone in this struggle. I have been obsessed with girls and women and sex since I was 4or5 too. I started masturbating to orgasm when I was 7 or 8. Literally my every waking downtime though relates to sex or acquiring sex for most of my life. The only way I could stop it was to orgasm.. but then it would only last for an hour or two and I would need to orgasm again.. and again.. and again. Until I was still horny but just exhausted and angry and depressed. Sex with an actual partner seemed the solution and it relieved my desires for longer but the pattern of wanting more and the hangover resulted in anarchy in the bedroom.
Right now I am trying my best to not just orgasm and have a little slice of heaven . But I know it will just result in me wanting more. I am hoping my desire will reduce...but I even fear this because I am man.. I don't want to lose my desire completely. I know there are many people out there who really could care less about sex.. yes their path is easier in some ways. I dont want to become one of the asexual metrosexual masses who have no passion or gender. Ok that is an unfair judgement but it is my fear talking. I dont want to repress who I clearly am. I and maybe you are one of the people who revolves their life around the magical prize of sex. I swear I don't need money or possessions or even food.. If I could have peace of mind and be satisfied sexually or intimately where I actually felt love and satisfied for longer than a few hours I would be fulfilled. But this is the outlook of a sex addict. One who needs to constantly be aware. The cravings may reduce and be reduced by certain tools but they will never be completely fixed or completely work.
This is why I am on this site and pursuing Karezza. I am exhausted and beat down. Even after over 50 years of life I can't figure this out. It is just going to take hard work and not endulging my destructive addictive shadow for a lifetime and hope it gets better. It feels like it is working somewhat. But I won't expect miracles or quick fixes .. and I won't go back to doing the same thing over and over and expect a different outcome.

You are right

I am afraid to loose my way of what represents sex in my life too. But, I am going to do something anyway. Do not know the final result, but glad to take the risk.