no pmo on and off for almost a year and finally got a girl but it didnt feel right

Submitted by train758 on
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I have been recovering from pmo for almost a whole year now but I have been on and off and the longest I have ever lasted was almost a full 90 days but then lost all motivation and decided to pmo because I had just got "friend zoned" by a girl I really liked. I was only a few days away from 90 days but I didn't even care. I look back at this moment and wish I had just went the rest of the 90 days. I feel like I was still in the flatline stage and didn't really get hard too often and wasn't really ever 100%. My porn use got bad to where I was looking at torture clips without any real sex in it. I think this really messed up my brain and that almost 90 day streak really saved my life. I met a girl at the beginning of the streak and was talking to her but I think I messed it up because I never really made a move and I feel like I was a little clingy and we weren't even dating. Then I got friend zoned and lost all motivation. Recently I have had a bunch of little no pmo streaks and I also went back to the torture clips which probably messed up by reboot and probably took me back a couple weeks each time I did that. My latest no pmo streak was almost 3 weeks. Before that one I had gone about 40 days. I try to keep motivated because the benefits are great and I love it! I now can get hard with just thoughts if i'm on a no pmo streak for a couple weeks and I get very horny. It is so much easier to talk to people and girls and I get way more turned on by just the thought of the actual girl. I also feel that when I am on a good no pmo streak my gains in the gym are better and my muscles look fuller and my athletic performance is at its peak. During my workouts and in general my mind is a lot clearer and it just feels more natural. My thoughts are clearer and I come back with responses a lot quicker than I did before and I am just more social. I also enjoy the little things in life. I have also noticed my flaccid size is bigger and depending on how long I have gone my hard size is bigger too. I have really had trouble recently and I usually fail every couple of weeks but after a couple days of the pmo the benefits come right back. When I fail however it is usually edging for at least an hour or more and that really desensitizes me. I want to give up pmo and mo forever and save the o's only for real women since that is what us humans were made for. I recently had a relapse with everything pictures, videos and edging for hours. I got blue balls so bad and had to release. Then I was having a girl come over the next day and was very horny and found myself on the internet edging and looking at porn and pictures. I edged for hours and finally released and I couldn't even sleep that night. Usually when I relapse I cant sleep that night because of the anxiety. I never used to have anxiety before I started mo and eventually pmo. I finally collected myself and it is day 4 today and she came over today and we ended up hooking up. I had a semi just sitting next to her but once we actually got into it I went soft. I don't have feelings for her and I have no idea what the heck happened and I was kind of frustrated. I don't want to describe too much because I don't want to trigger anyone to a relapse but my penis didn't get any action and I think I had blue balls after. How could I have blue balls after that situation? And what does it mean that I lost my erection? Have I not recovered yet? Now thinking back its just kind of weird. I don't know what happened can someone please explain this to me. It will be much appreciated and I will for sure keep on my no pmo grind. Also one more question has anyone experienced lasting longer while on no pmo? im kinda confused on this topic also. Sorry for such a long post but I really had to get that off my chest. I hope you guys can give me some good feedback

Copy your questions and

visit Those questions have come up often.

Obviously, the answers depend on where you are in your reboot and how fast your brain bounces back from overdoing it.

You might also find this page useful: Porn FAQs

Sounds like you're figuring it out. As a general rule: The more consistent you are in avoiding edging and porn the better for your ultimate recovery.

Thanks, I don't really know

Thanks, I don't really know how far I am in the reboot but I am really striving to stop mo and pmo forever so I guess I will heal eventually so I should stop over thinking it and just let it take its course. I will definitely check out those sites