Nothing working ED Flatline Not knowning what to do?

Submitted by Roustabout on
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Hi all,
Help I'm scared, I don't know what is happening to me so I'll explain, Im 37 years old, physically fit, gym etc split up with my ex of 14 years about 2 years ago and every new relationship I start I've been unable to "get it up".
Having never had a problem in my previous relationship (although i used porn), I turned more to porn to "test myself" and thought everthing is ok, it still works, this is maybe performance anxiety and carried on this practice. I though I'll get over it. I finished these 2 relationships thinking they were'nt my type.
Then in March last year I met the girl of my dreams and the same thing happened.
I decided to quit porn straight away to see what would happen.
I decided to masterbate to thought only, it did'nt work, so then Clothed images of women, it didn't work, I panicked, I could not for the life of me get an erection! Unaware I'd "flatlined" plus I'd lost my libido(I did'nt know what flatline was then I had no idea what was happening with my body and was not aware of this phenomenon) I went to the doctors had all the tests they came back clear, went to see a specialist "Anxiety" he said and prescribed me ciallis, this worked to some degree and i had alot of sex (which was wrong, maybe with the wrong train of thought) but i was fascinating about other things in orders to achieve some sort of erection and my mind fluctuated from one thing to the other trying the best mental image to get and keep an erection. I thought get a few encounters under my belt this will pass.
Now and again maybe once every 2 months I would test myself, still in flatline I think the only trouble was is that it took me ages to get an erection, max i could get was 50%. I went back to the specialist and he said keep on ciallis until December and get the anxiety totally out your system.
So here I am now Feb 1012 I have hardly looked at Porn for 9 months, only tried to masterbated to thought about twice a month recently which was a disaster each time, and not had an Orgasm for 1 week and my erection is still 50% with my girl and non existent alone.
Fortunately my girlfriend is very understanding and puts it down to extreme anxiety, and willing to do anything to get me through this, even a "thorough reboot"
I cut out the Porn and Masterbation nearly 100% over the last 9 months but not the orgasm, would this have had an effect on my progress?
I still feel I'm in flatline though, I think I still have serious ED, has anyone else experienced anything like this? Please help

Thanks for your reply, I have

Thanks for your reply, I have a healthy lifestyle, very active I train everyday cardio and weights apart from weekends/restdays, I am in fantasic shape but not mentally, I eat well, don't drink, smoke etc I have insomnia at the minute plus alot of mental stress from all this. I'm worried as I've removed most of the "PM" with no improvement, if i remove the "O" where will i go from there? how will that benefit me?

I don't know your total

I don't know your total history and my story is a little different, but I would maybe suggest cutting out the O completely. I first started moving away from porn before I found this site and had cut down to M once every 10-14 days. But I'm certain my problems would have persisted to a large extent even at that more limited frequency. There's probably a decent amount of crossover between the porn pathways in your brain and the orgasm pathways, so you're probably still firing up bad connections even when you don't use porn. I would say bite the bullet, get ahold of your anxiety and compulsion to test the problem, and don't orgasm until you feel like the problem is fixed. Every orgasm will set you back. Your brain probably just needs a break.

Also, think about doing some stress-relief activities like deep breathing, meditation, etc. And try kegel exercises for men as well.

Just my take. Good luck man.

How often do you think about

How often do you think about the problem? Do you find your brain always looping back to the Ed issue? If you do, you could have a form of OCD which can create anxiety and depression. I may be way off base, but if you find it consuming your thoughts, it might be good to talk to counselor.

Thanks very much for your

Thanks very much for your support, I'm booked to see a specialist counselor on Tuesday, my thoughts are going crazy about my failures, I need to just calm down and focus. I spend all my time looking for answers. Once again thanks for your support people.

I feel I had the same issues!

I feel I had the same issues!! For me it was anxiety related, like my brain was active all the time I lost touch with my body. As soon as I started relaxing I started getting those melty love feelings which led to strong erection!

questions:

  1. How was your erection when using porn (right before you stopped)?
  2. How is your erection when masturbating (no fantasy)?
  3. How does #2 compare to intercourse?
  4. Since stopping porn how frequently have your orgasmed?

1. About 60% then about 90%

1. About 60% then about 90% before orgasm
2. Non existent but appeared out the blue sometimes,
3. Only sustainable with ciallis and fantasy but getting better as the months progress
4. Stopped orgasming 11 days ago as it was very frequent, every day in fact

Since stopping "o" my erections are much better, very sporadic, morning wood is ok, just need to calm down and bring myself back into balance, I think.
I Have seen a therapist and she suggested similar, no focus on intercourse etc do some cuddle stuff, this seems to be working as I had an erection from just cuddling and stroking her butt, granted I am on 2.5mg ciallis but normally this only worked in the past with manual stimulation.
I notice my brain is very slowly changing even on the medication I am now detracting from fantasy and entering the real world.

it's easy

quit having orgasms.

You'll see vast improvement that you can't imagine.

Continue doing a *lot* of cuddling and snuggling with your GF.

Get off the Cialis, if it were me I wouldn't be taking that stuff.

Thanks ever so much for that

Thanks ever so much for that advice, I do split sets back and bi's one day shoulders and tri's the next all body parts are done once a week, then I do 30 mins cardio x4 a week, I take protein,l-arginine and vitamins and eat good but Lately I have had quite alot of sugar/sweet things, I don't mean to brag but I'm in tip top shape on the outside just not on the inside unfortunately, I'm willing to give your advice a good go!