Question about fantasy

Submitted by Jake81 on
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This is coming from a person who has very limited actual experience with girls. Does fantasizing about making out with a girl/bonding with a girl bad for recovery. I read somewhere that fantasizing about porn is bad, so whenever a thought of porn has come to my mind, I have quickly defused it. However, I believe fantasizing about what I actually want, which is connecting with girls, is not disruptive to my reboot. before I started rebooting, I never had thoughts of making out with girls or bonding with girls, so I think fantasizing about this may be beneficial. If fantasizing about porn activates porn neural pathways, maybe fantasizing about connecting with girls activates new neural pathways? I read somewhere on this site that this kind of fantasizing is good for people with limited experience with girls. One thing that encourages me is that I can fantasize for a few seconds about making out with a girl and get a little horny, but in previous attempts at quitting PMO whenever I fantasized even for a tiny bit about porn, I would get extremely horny and this often lead to a relapse, but this type of fantasizing doesn't stimulate me as much. What are your thoughts on this?

Also, I'm on day 14 and so far I'm doing all I can to block out porn images from my mind. But this one video that I watched multiple times in the past keeps popping in my head. I don't let it pick up much energy and think of something else, but it is relentless. I keep thinking that I'm fantasizing about porn when in reality, these thoughts just randomly pop into my head and seem to be a way for my mind to get me to give in. Is this considered fantasizing? I never actually sit there and let the thought take over me, is fantasizing bad when it only lasts for like 2 seconds? It is enough to get me an erection, but it fades.

It's not "bad"

and only you can be the judge of whether it messes up your peace of mind. I'd bet all of your ancestors fantasized plenty...and it didn't mess them up.

On the other hand, porn based fantasy can become a problem because it strengthens the unwanted brain loops.

Sounds like you're doing well, but if you want to read an FAQ on fantasy during rebooting, here's YBOP's:

How did you find your way here, and was porn a problem for you do you think?

Do you know about REDDIT.NoFap?