Ready to try! Need advice...

Submitted by tattvamasi on
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So my partner and I are ready to take steps towards karezza. Such a beautiful thing I see taking place. We are very aware of our relationship and discuss it openly quite a bit. We met online (match.com does work!) and e-mailed for a good while before actually meeting in person due to her living in another city. During this online correspondence, we laid so much out on the table- quite a bit more than people in the preliminary stages of a relationship usually do. Because of this, she is aware of my very tough battle with orgasm addiction.
What's so amazing about this? Well she has never had an orgasm, and instead of insisting that we try and get her to achieve one, she is willing (and excited!) to forego that sort of intimacy in favor of karezza. Soooo, my question is: Since her and I have never had intercourse and only shared two orgasms (both mine) in the time that we've been together, do we really need to do the 3 weeks of exchanges suggested in the book? I got the feeling that those were meant more for couples who had been having sex with orgasm for quite some time as a means to sort of "reset" their relationship. She and I are excited about the exchanges (especially working with and giving each other positive energy), but getting together every night for 3 weeks seems a little logistically challenging. Any suggestions/advice would be much appreciated! Thanks!

we didn't do the exchanges

We just hopped on the bus. I don't see why you can't. Part of the exchanges, the big reason I think, is to wait the 2 weeks after the last orgasm for the passion cycle to pass. Your girlfriend hasn't had an orgasm so that isn't a big issue.

BTW, I think Karezza is far more intimate than orgasmic sex which tends to be "I get my orgasm, she gets hers, we're done" and isn't really intimate the way Karezza is, in my so far limited (two months) experience.

Great to hear about your commitment to get into this, keep us posted. How exciting for you and her.

Makes sense.

Thanks for your input, Emerson. I'm currently on Day 9 without orgasm, and she's never had one, so we're almost through the passion cycle! This has probably been the easiest nine-day stretch of no orgasm I've ever had, and I think much of that has to do with how much intimate (but not passionate) contact her and I have had. There has been alot of cuddling, some of it without many clothes on. We're just getting very comfortable with touching each other in a different way- a way that's not meant to excite, but to simply enjoy and be present. Yesterday the weather was absolutely beautiful, so she and I were sitting in a chair together on her back porch. She was on my lap and I had her sleeve rolled up and was caressing her arm. I said, "It's nice not to tickle your arm with the motivation to get you riled up so that I can touch other parts of your body. I'm simply just tickling your arm and that's it. Nowhere to go." She agreed.

As a single person that not

As a single person that not long ago was in a relationship where I pushed what could have been a lovely slow approach towards intimacy and sex...I say ride it out. How romantic to tickle her arm and start a relationship by doing the 3 weeks of nurturing exchanges...you'll get to know each other soooo much more and have such a wonderful bond for starting a relationship. When I posed a similar question about having to do the exchanges every night, Marnia suggested that it's not necessary to do them every night if it's not possible. I would imagine that's even more the case if you're not used to having hot sex and having to 'settle down' that energy. Wow, I'm jealous...enjoy!!!