I got a long story and its really be the topic to my ocd all of a sudden. I've always had OCD about anything. One thing I would never think about it my sexual orientation. In the past my OCD wished I was gay and put male images in my head that I would shake off, back to females. When I was younger I had one gay experience and I was so young I thought of it as harmless with a friend. Over the years the OCD has tried to convince me and Id fight it. I always liked girls and about age 12 I got in a porn addiction until present day. I'm now 20 turning 21. Recently I been going for help to get my life in order. The last few years it seems my interst in women changed as did my genre to pron into transsexual porn. At one point I would get aroused to the idea of being a women and having sex with other women. I actually had that thought for a while. I acted out on it and dressed in drag and idk how i felt. I think i was just really obsessed with women. Now eventually with the meds and masturbation i assume it caused me ed to women. I do remember going on a chat room and saying im gay and fantizing to the sexy, I didn;t think anything of it til i got the ed. I was very anxious pretending to be gay. After the ad i checked myself with gay porn and i got aroused. I said to myself I'm gay if i get aroused again. I manage to finish up with masturbating. Now Im in a bad place not experiencing any panic attacks only mild ones. I Constantly check on the form about this. I never debated in the past for I was in love a few times and obsessed about the break ups for months. I can't tell the difference if the gay thoughts are mine or the OCD i get aroused by them. I really feel ailienate to who I thought I was. I feel Looking at chicks is fake. I feel looking at guys now I'm checking them out and I never did so in the past. I can possibley imagine all the things I could with a gril but I don;t want tot be gay. is it just my ocd in the past i felt like a blush thing going on but never fell in love with a guy. Atm Idk know anymore I read thinkgs that porn addiction can screw you up and alot of other things. I really want the old me back, this is really scary and I doubt sexuality can change over night. Someone please help me.