Does anyone else experience this? How do you deal with it?
Sometimes I feel like I am freezing over inside and if somebody even touched me, I'd burst and just swamp them. I'm feeling so desolate that it's hard for me to feel motivated to do anything sometimes and like I'm missing a vital nutrient. I'm sad to the extent that I have trouble just getting through my day sometimes. I can cope with it for the most part - but if I'm a little under the weather health wise, or PMSing, the feelings come right to the surface :( Sometimes I feel like I am slowly dying or slowly going crazy. I seriously can't dredge up the motivation to do anything. I'm 38 and back in school, in my last semester of community college before transferring to a 4-year, and I'm struggling with having the energy to even do my coursework. I'm having trouble even taking care of my health because I don't even feel very motivated to be on the planet at times. I don't eat very much anymore. It takes too much energy just to get dressed and brush my teeth sometimes. Everything takes too much energy. I've let myself go a lot :( I have a chronic health condition that is directly connected to my stress levels, and I know that if I don't bond with someone, it will not improve. Sometimes I feel like I will die if I am not close to someone.
I am in a really needy spot sometimes and don't really know how to cope with it. I just keep it away from other people so that I don't scare them off. I am having trouble seeing how I will change the situation in the near future, so what I need is to tolerate it. What have you done when you were in that situation? How do you cope with it?
I don't remember feeling this bad when I was younger, and sometimes I just want to know that it will be better eventually and I'll be through this :(
I am a gay woman and I am very isolated from my community. I don't meet other gay or bi women, for the most part (I live very deep in the suburbs without a car; any gay women that are in my community, I have already dated), my friends are exclusively heterosexual (it just ended up that way) and for the next year it may not be a resolvable situation. Occasionally I get hugs or cuddles from straight female friends on the VERY rare occasion that I even get to see them, and the advice of the board here has helped me to stop feeling "worked up" and frustrated when they get close to me. I have occasionally also gotten touch from male friends but it doesn't feel right or meet that need. Still, it's frustrating that I am the only person I know who doesn't seem to be entitled to have a lover. I had a straight female friend that I was very close to, I had feelings for her, but I accepted it'd never be anything. It was still better to be affectionate with her than to not have anyone to be close to, even if it was frustrating at times (and I'm finding that abstinence from arousing myself or having an orgasm is helping me with that frustration) and even if being her friend meant a kind of personal martyrdom. Still, she moved away, and it's been pretty sad for me since she did. I miss her very much, but she is with a nice guy now and it's best this way.
Following the advice of this board I've stopped pleasuring myself some time ago, hoping that I could become less "goal oriented" with women and I hope that will help my friendships with them, and because I'm tired of fighting sexual feelings every time I'm close to a woman. At this point I'd just as soon not ever have sexual feelings anymore if it would make me feel better. My sex desire has dropped off a bit, but I'm finding now that I am feeling really, really lonely for intimacy all the same. It makes me sad though that everyone around me couples off eventually, but I feel like friendship is what I may have to settle for (possibly for the rest of my life because the lesbian community is really really screwed up) and no matter how close I may be to a friend, she will always have someone else to go home to... I'm incredibly jealous of my straight friends because they don't go through this and they don't even know what it's like. They think that as long as gay people have equal rights with straight people, all of the problems of being gay will go away, but news flash, they won't!! There still aren't enough gay people in the world for most of us to have a partner. Probably more of us get old alone than is true with straight people, just because it's harder to find each other.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
It's never been this hard before. I used to date and have an active social and romantic life.
I really thought I could just channel my energy into my studies but I hit some kind of a tipping point where I got too lonely to actually function. I don't even feel like a human being anymore.