Seeking mid-aged or older gentleman courtly companion

Islander's picture
Submitted by Islander on
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I'd love a male upper 50s onward who's experienced with Karezza and understands what I used to call "natural monogamy."

I'm a widow who was heading towards Karezza with my husband "accidentally." I'm naturally affectionate and he, being an artist who loves to slowly savor, and one who naturally took things slow -- already enjoyed that type of caressing. With his genital herpes and other issues that made "breeder sex" sometimes impossible, we started exploring other ways of being together.

When I lost him, I thought he and I were the only ones who engaged in this type of love-making, even though I'd heard of "strange eastern Tantra sex" which for some reason never felt like something I wanted to investigate.

When I came to this site, I felt like I found a Home Community -- others with the same desires in partnership. Up 'til now I thought there was something wrong with me!

I'm not ready for another partner so I can't practice with one, but I'd love an anonymous male e-mail friend to answer questions from a male perspective and help me learn all I can -- whether or not I ever choose another partner or not.

Hey Islander

Hi Islander, I just read your post and if you need or would like to ask any questions I'm here. I to am middle aged, I hate to even say that. But I am and would like to help if you need. I know it's a late reply but I thought you might not have found someone to talk to through E-mails. Hope your mornings and nights are better now. I found them impossible. Well I'm maybe well talk.

Hi and welcome

Hi, Islander

I also am so sorry to hear of your loss of your husband / friend / lover. I just became active here in the discussions and hope you contribute, as I think there is a wonderful range of age, gender, and experiences here from which we may all benefit. So I hope you feel like contributing when you are ready. I'm 62 so it's nice to include some buddies around my age.

Take good care of yourself,

Thanks for the nice replies.

Thanks for the nice replies. I've been here for some time now and have gotten some good anonymous male perspective, which is just what I'd asked for and wanted since I don't feel ready to explore actual partnership again yet, but didn't want the memory of males who believe in this type of sex to fade away in the meantime. And thanks to the nice gals who've written as well. Since his passing, I've met what seems like a million men who want (demand) conventional sex first, friendship later. This site keeps me sane and hopeful that pair-bonding sex is alive out there somewhere, and that there are plenty of men able to help someone as a friend without expecting a sexual payout.

It makes me sad but it makes a statement....

It makes me very sad that there are enough men out there that have been tainted by modern media to the point of "demanding" sex before friendship. Makes be sad to classified in the same group as they are (i.e. male).

I know it might have been a bit of hyperbole (I HOPE it is:) ) but it illustrates to me the depth of the indoctrination we have all received and that some of us are looking for something more than just the sexual payout.

Good luck in your transition...

oh, yes, they have been indoctrinated . . .

I tried out OKCupid several months ago. I'm in my early 60's and was still "hit on" by younger men looking for sex. And the older ones actually admit to me that they are only on the site for sex!!! They say they don't want another relationship, as they've already been married, have children, maybe grandchildren. They just want a playmate (a la Playboy magazine).

Weird thing to me is that from my perspective, so many men look for sex and end up in a relationship. And I see so many single women my age out there without a partner.

No stats, just what I see, and, through my own filters.

That's why I'm here, 'cuz there are SUCH good guys here. Real humans being.


As Shannon illustrated so

As Shannon illustrated so well, it doesn't feel like hyperbole. In one case with me, a kind, popular, enlightened minister told me he wasn't after a relationship because he was still getting over a break up of about a year ago, and so my friendship with him was safe. I could spend time with him and he'd help me through my grief process, since both of us agreed we weren't seeking relationship at the time. After one walk out in nature and an uninvited "shoulder massage" by him moved it's way down the torso, hips and bottom area, and I was seductively whispered in the ear, and held in an embrace I didn't invite and "told" to lean into the embrace regardless of not inviting it, I decided I must have different ideas of what "not having a relationship" means.

But I don't blame men at all -- we're all products of our hormones and cultural expectations. Plus, I was married to a prince for many years, so I know the deeper truth of men.

Also, my example above isn't meant to negate the value of touch and bonding between consenting friends who aren't in relationship and even who aren't seeking relationship with each other. I've had other male friends where we agree on certain touch for healing purposes vs. relationship purposes, and I was fine with that.

courtly companion

Though i have no experience in this site's Karezza per say, I feel i do have a lot of emotional experience, patience, and caring for a partner and would love to discuss these things. I am in between partners and miss chatting with a female, in hopes of getting to a better place through this draught. So if you are interested I am available, I haven't been back to this site in months, and decided to give it a try.