Sexual inmaturity

Submitted by jlateralus on
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Hi, this is my first post, I decided to register here because I've been reading some of the post and I've found a great a community. This is my situation. I'm 19 years old, I have never had sexual intercourse, when I started to get interested in women (17 years), sacred sex information came to me by a cousin, I started to assist to a place where people meet and talk about the awakening of conciuosness under the teachings of Samel Aun Weor. You must know that Samael's Gnosis is highly radical. I became in part of that group and started to practice some exercies for sexual transmutation (pranayama, derviches, breathing exercies bassically). Then, it was a couple of weeks when I experienced wet dreams frecuently. I felt so frustrated because the other people there hadn't that problem. They told me that I needed to learn how to control my own energy before having sexual intercourse with a women, they tended to remark and make enphasis in avoid fornication and pregnancy. After a year I left that group, tired of radicalism and fanatism. A few months ago I masturbated for my first time (believe me) maybe I did it in my infancy but I didn't reached orgasm that time, so that was the first time I tasted orgasm. Since that moment, I've been doing it about one or two times per week, I still practice sexual transmutatation some times, and I still have wet dreams (not so frecuently). I've been tempted to watch pornography, and I've fallen a couple of times.

I repressed my energy so much in the past, and I want to stop doing that. I want to find sexual maturity, now I'm in a relationship and I dont know how to face sexual intercourse, a part of me is afraid of failure (premature ejaculation, non planned pregnancy).

I've experienced times where I haven't ejaculated, about two or three weeks, and I've felt awesome, I remember the best time, I felt so strong, with so much energy, confident, quiet, and with the courage to go talk to women.

But, most of the time, I'm really nervous, I found myself hand shaking, unable to believe in myself. I want to heal, and to start my sexual life with a woman in a good way, applying the ancient wisdom. I'm aware that ejaculation is a loss of energy and it's not useful in a realtionship, it brings you down in a espiritual process.

I dont want to fall on pornography and compulsive masturbation, I dont want to make bigger the problem.

I 'd like to know your opinnion, any advices?

Sorry about my english, I'm not native.

Welcome

Your English is brilliant. Thanks for making the effort.

I don't know what to say. I, too, have found the SAW "flavor" a bit too extreme and "damning."

Our motto here, is "Strive for balance, not perfection." But what that means for a 19-year old, I have no idea. I'm pretty sure there's not one right answer though. Smile

We've collected a lot of men's stories here...in part so others can see how many ways there are to approach things. Are there any guidelines for healthy masturbation?

I once had a sweetheart who said that before he had a girlfriend he set a schedule for masturbation of...I can't remember, but I think it was once a week. The point was that he set a schedule and stuck to it, instead of trying to exhaust his sexual itch. That was probably smart on his part, because sex is an itch that often can't be scratched to satiety (while solo) without leaving you hungrier than ever.

But it's not easy to find the best possible balance. There are neurochemical changes after climax that can make you *hornier* sometimes. Read this: Do You Need A Chaser After Sex?

There are definitely things that guys say help with managing libido and regulating mood naturally. I've listed a lot of them here: ♦Solo Tools  Some of the most popular are vigorous exercise, meditation, socializing, cold showers, time in nature, flirting with girls, and so forth.

Let us know what works best for you.

 

Sometimes I think that I'm so

Sometimes I think that I'm so young to be wanting to be a professional on semen retention, and I'm asking for so much to myself, that I'm trying to go against nature, that I can't get sacred sex if I haven't walked the conventional sex path. Once I talked to a women who teaches inner alchemy and sacred sex and she told me that I can't go straight to the z without having walked through the a,b,c....that I must know first conventional sex because it's part of the path.

Another person, a daoist doctor, I told him about the wet dreams and that I haven't been with a woman in intimacy. He told me: the wet dreams problem is not going to stop at least you have sex with a woman in order to relieve the anxiety that is on you.

About the solo tools, I've tried the exercises of Mantak Chia's books. Especially the great aspiration, it's about estimulate the sexual organs and when you are close to ejaculation then stop and do strong contractions of the PC muscle, It involves concentration, visualization. I've had great results with this practice, I managed about 2 hours with this kind of tantric masturbation and end without ejaculation.

Eventhough my success with that practice, wet dreams still happen and maybe what they say is true, I need to taste sexual intercourse, otherwise I'll continue having this issue.

What do you think?

My husband has said

there is no way he could have succeeded with semen retention without a partner. Smile But maybe if you were a monk living in isolation or with other monks, you could do it.

Since you don't, you may have to find a partner...or balance a different way that includes some masturbation. If the latter, then do your best to masturbate to sensation (touch) only. That is, no images or pornish fantasy. Also, try to set a realistic schedule rather than just attempting to exhaust your sexual desire. <--That is what seems to lead to escalation and can create perpetual dissatisfaction.

And be gentle with yourself. You're right that it's very challenging to steer your sexual desire.

You might try emailing this man. He is familiar with the SAW material, but takes a much broader viewpoint. He might be a good coach: http://www.facebook.com/sacredteachings He also has a son about your age. Smile

You mentioned Chia's books.

You mentioned Chia's books. Toward the end of Cultivating Male Sexual Energy, there is a section on preventing wet dreams. If you are doing all the other exercises properly and this section doesn't help, you may just need the help of a lady friend