Some ROCD links

Submitted by freedom on
Printer-friendly version - has anyone read this ebook?

OCD generally:

How does one determine if relationship thoughts are relevant or brainworms?

Where is the divide between relationship concerns, anxiety, and OCD?

Can ROCD develop over time due to holding legitimate relationship concerns in abeyance? Or is that perhaps just from orgasm/dopamine?


I think ROCD is a product of our times (virtual worlds, chronic overstimulation, broken parents who don't teach the example of healthy attachment, etc). I do not, however, think it has value as a concept. It just encourages people to think they have some special "disorder," which then gives them an excuse for not clearing up the aforementioned messes in their lives.

I've seen people's ROCD mysterious evaporate when they clean up the way they use their sexual desire and engage in daily bonding behaviors. How could that happen if it were so "real" a disorder?

I'm not denying that some people may need more help in resetting their attachment mechanisms than can be supplied by three weeks of bonding behaviors, but I don't think ROCD is a helpful concept in the process - because, frankly, I think most therapists haven't a clue about human sexuality. They're trained to find "issues" and deny that sex itself can be a factor in separation.

At least you know what I think. Wink Of course, I could be wrong. (gasp)

Do as you wish, but I'm not interested in a thread on ROCD on this forum. There are plenty of ROCD forums for that.

Examining how a condition

Examining how a condition spreads through a population often signals that one needs to question organic versus brain creation of that condition. ROCD seems to be one such thing coming up in increasing frequency. And as you say, can evaporate.

I think I know what you mean, but can you elaborate on "clean up the way they use their sexual desire?"

Perhaps whatever is behind such things is anxiety related. Anxiety isn't inherently bad or worth labeling a disorder.

My curiosity was more about how one reduces artifact and perception biases than ROCD itself. A man is hungry so he eats lacks the same nuance as a man isn't satisfied because he lacks X macronutrient while he keeps eating Y or drank so much water to feel full, but ate no food, or whatever the case might be. Of course, one could say who cares. Eat properly going forward. Sometimes my brain likes to try to understand the whys.

Are there people who are engaging in daily bonding who have relationship anxiety issues?

I deal with relationship anxiety as well, and karezza has helped

I think relationship anxiety comes from deep within us, the wounds that we have from the past from our first relationships, our previous romantic relationships. etc.

I believe that my anxiety in my relationship stems a lot from past issues and my own insecurities about myself. However, there was a TON of anxiety coming directly from my urges to have an orgasm because I did not know the proper way to find release of tension and pleasure as a woman with my partner.

Karezza has taught me that calm, slow time with PIV with my partner is the key to my pleasure, and a relief to at least that section of my anxiety.

I agree with Marnia that therapists don't address sex as a factor for closeness or anxiety in relationships. I believe that lots of relationship anxiety can come directly from not experiencing sexual satisfaction in ITSELF with your partner. Sex, and our connective feelings make up our emotions- the ability to feel pleasure deeply in our own self.

These past two weeks of trying karezza, other things are not as hard, or at least, I am able to let go more easily when I hold onto different thoughts.

I think SEX is a legitimate concern which can cause anxiety if both partners are not finding satisfaction, the woman and man aren't finding pleasure during PIV.

Relationship anxiety can develop from not finding the pleasure that partners THINK will come from orgasms- and then having orgasms while searching for that pleasure certainly adds to the anxiety (because the ultimate peaceful pleasure isn't found).

Sorry if this isn't related. I am just starting Karezza with my partner, and I feel that it has such immense possibilities for human kind, sexual health, happiness, etc, so I am reading posts and commenting wherever I feel I can relate. thanks