Submitted by VagalTone on
Printer-friendly version

Hi,

I have so many questions (perhaps too much, sorry) about karezza and would like your opinions on the following questions. Also i know they are very hard to answer, but perhaps i can get some new perspective or insight:

- What do you think when the male is 10+ yo younger than the female ? Does it create in your opinion some challenge in the practice of karezza ? Do you know succesfull stories of couples or inspiring ones ?

- If the woman reports not having sexual experiences for the last 3 years, is it better to start with conventional sex and then slowly progress to karezza, so as to get a minimum of sexual satiety, or can Karezza be enough to create total satisfaction ?

- Do you think it is helpful to maximize hair shaving (specially pubic) so as to maximize skin to skin contact, instead of skin to hair contact Wink ?

- Do you feel satisfied when you end the lovemaking session ? Or is it supposed to feel like sadness and nostalgia for not being able to extend it ?

- Can you practice karezza every day ? Is it more sustainable to practice every other day ?

- Is it normal or common having 3 hours of love making, kissing and cuddling ? Is too much of karezza a possiblity ?

I have so many more questions but i will post them later

Thanks for the help and long live Love and Karezza !

- What do you think when the

- What do you think when the male is 10+ yo younger than the female ? Does it create in your opinion some challenge in the practice of karezza ? Do you know succesfull stories of couples or inspiring ones ?

 

Nope  really good either way, man or woman older doesn’t matter  

 

- If the woman reports not having sexual experiences for the last 3 years, is it better to start with conventional sex and then slowly progress to karezza, so as to get a minimum of sexual satiety, or can Karezza be enough to create total satisfaction ?

 

No  better to start with Karezza If she wants to and he wants to  it isn’t necessary for both of you to do it, really. 

 

 

- Do you think it is helpful to maximize hair shaving (specially pubic) so as to maximize skin to skin contact, instead of skin to hair contact Wink ?

 

nope  

- Do you feel satisfied when you end the lovemaking session ? Or is it supposed to feel like sadness and nostalgia for not being able to extend it ?

 

Completely satisfied  more in love and ready to go again.

 

- Can you practice karezza every day ? Is it more sustainable to practice every other day ?

 

My partner is good 4 times a week so we do that. I would prefer every day  

 

- Is it normal or common having 3 hours of love making, kissing and cuddling ? Is too much of karezza a

 

I don’t see how you can have too much assuming no soreness.

 

I have so many more questions but i will post them later

 

Ask away.

 

Thanks for the help and long live Love and Karezza !

Thanks for the help, i thin i

Thanks for the help, i think i haven´t fully grasped your response to the following question..

"""
- If the woman reports not having sexual experiences for the last 3 years, is it better to start with conventional sex and then slowly progress to karezza, so as to get a minimum of sexual satiety, or can Karezza be enough to create total satisfaction ?

No better to start with Karezza If she wants to and he wants to it isn’t necessary for both of you to do it, really. """

You mean it is fine if only one partner (myself) wants to pratice karezza?

Thanks

Yes exactly

 You just go ahead and practice. She could do it if she wants. But you wouldn’t be right to put pressure on her.  It is not necessary for both partners to be practicing it. 

Just to elaborate. If you

Just to elaborate. If you aren't going to come, tell her as you enter her "I"m probably not going to come this time," and then don't. It really is that simple. It can be tough not to of course, especially if she comes, but that's how it's done best.  You may have to stop her or slow her down if she is being too arousing but that's basically it. She can come as much as she wants, and you don't. 

That's what I do. My partner is still not completely on the no-orgasm bandwagon but that isn't my business, it's hers. 

Thanks

Thanks

That is reasonable i guess. I would like my partner to experience the benefits of karezza because it will be for the good of both of us, so it is also my businness so to speak.

Easy for you to say...

Emerson, this is the point that is hard for me to fathom. The idea of karezza was unknown to me and my wife, so of course orgasm was the expected end of all sex. I might have worked on prolonging the PIV time, but keeping myself from going over the waterfall was not a thing that entered my mind. So if it happened somewhat earlier than later, it was going to happen anyway. And if my wife came, I would be right there with her, no stopping, no question about it.

I have read on this site of you and a few other men that stay continent while their wives orgasm. That to me is the stuff of myth and legend, based on my experience. But I will say that is just my unscientific observation. Perhaps, or most likely, I am on one side of the bell curve. I never set this as a goal, and perhaps I could have, or still could learn this self control with some amount of practice and determination.

As currently being a widower, this is just theory for me for now. Should I find another partner, It seems to me that karezza would be the way to get off the pharmaceutical enhancement treadmill which, to be honest, lessened my anticipation of sex the last few years with my wife. I know that karezza is a different mindset, and sex with a new partner could be a total re-set. Maybe withholding ejaculation would not be an issue at all in a new relationship. Perhaps age could work in my favor this time.

This is a little off the point of the OP, but it has been something that I have wanted to bring up since I have gotten on this site. Your comment of "Just say no!" when your partner is saying "Yes, Yes!" brought this on.

I am a great believer in

I am a great believer in avoiding pressure. When I started Karezza I pressured my wife, and it took 6 or 9 months to get things to settle down and become serene and peaceful. Maybe a year even.

I can avoid orgasm if my wife orgasms, most of the time. And it is not difficult. It is what I decided when I was going to have intercourse with her. I notice that there are many excuses my brain manufactures to get me to come, but most of the time it's easy to recognize that thought and just stay the course. 

If it happens on its own, or for some other reason I want to orgasm, then I do. But my wife can orgasm all she wants and it really isn't my business. I'm saying that in all seriousness. Sometimes I help her orgasm because she wants to. But I don't have to fall over the waterfall and come myself and usually I do not.

And the reason is that I get so many benefits from this, that I can't imagine any other life. Most of the time after I have an orgasm,

1. I get kind of grumpy

2. I feel kind of disconnected for a few days

3. I get very attracted to women I see on the street who are sexy and young and attractive

4. I fantasize about sex

If I do not come, none of this happens. I am more in love with my wife than ever. And orgasms don't seem to bother her.

The thing is, that it is VERY difficult to introduce this idea to a woman who you have met and haven't had sex with. So I suggest you do not. But I suggest you simply express your intention and then stick to it. Sex will be quite different. 

Over time if you two are compatible she will want to talk about it and you can tell her about it. Meanwhile you are the example. I strongly believe that we should be the example rather than talk to or tell someone else something. Let's you do it first. Then she can ask about it, or do it herself, or not. Either way, you can still do it. It is fantastic. My Karezza does not depend in any way on my partner's.

Hi VagalTone, Thanks for the questions.....

I hope you won't mind that I tried to summarize the essence of your questions before answering.

Does 10+ years age difference matter? My wife is 11 years older (age 70) and age has made NO difference for us. In fact, we have shared more love and pleasure for 6 years with karezza than either of us had ever experienced previously. I had very pleasurable mutually orgasmic sex with my first wife, but cupid's poisoned arrow completely destroyed our marriage. Now, I make love twice a day, instead of twice a week, and it improves our health instead of taking anything out of either of us, and bonds us deeply instead of tearing us apart.

What about years without sexual activity? My wife went for 12 years or more without vaginal intercourse before we started karezza in 2012. She also had severe vaginal pain and trapped sexual energy from several years of physical and emotional trauma in a previous long term relationship before that. We made massive gains in healing in the first days and weeks of our marriage, and smaller incremental improvements after that. Her vagina is in perfect health now -- in large part due to the healing power of karezza. We have found organic coconut oil to be the perfect vaginal lubricant for us. It helps with soft entry and with any slow and gentle movements we make until her vaginal secretions start flowing.

What about pubic hair shaving? I shaved my pubic hair only once as a novelty. When it started growing back the stubble irritated my wive's very sensitive labia, and I was happy when it finally grew back in. I will probably never do that again. The sensitivity is amazing without any pubic shaving! ....and it continues to get better and better for both of us!

Do you feel satisfied? Sometimes we feel completely satisfied after 20 to 30 minutes and sometimes when we have the time we will make love for an hour or 2 hours or more. We always feel tip-top, balanced, and our love cups are both full to the brim. Our level of satisfaction is often influenced by our expectations. Many of the expectations that people ignorantly form around the experience of orgasmic sex are destructive and unsustainable.

Is karezza sustainable? In a word, yes. Every couple is different and have their own dynamic and frequency. We have made love twice a day, for 6 years, and my lover's vagina is always a garden of continual delight. Not even once have I been bored or dissatisfied with our lovemaking. And she is just as pleased and satisfied. Be patient with yourself at the beginning. It takes some time to rewire your nervous system after years of orgasmic sex, but it is well worth whatever discipline and effort it takes. With karezza and other positive lifestyle changes, my wife is healthier now than she was in her 30s. Karezza for us has been not only sustainable, but also restorative.