The Truth

Submitted by Aft3rgl0w on
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Lurked for some time but I feel compelled to tell a bit of my story. 36 year old male recently divorced. When my wife left me, I wasn't ready for it and I missed her terribly. I had urges that I wanted gone, like wanting to still have sex with her. So I turned to PMO. Well I jerked myself into oblivion. Suffered from all the symptoms. ED pills even stopped working.

Then one day, by the grace of god, I found sites like this on the internet. I knew right away I was an addict. My life sucked. I was depressed but I could never put my finger on the problem. Visited psychiatrists and urologists. Noone had the answer. So when I saw others in the same boat as me, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Fast forward to today. Today is day 38 of no PMO. My friends, this process is the truth. My life has changed in every way imaginable. The fog has lifted and I'm so focused its ridiculous. No more depression, no more anxiety, music sounds better, I'm even stronger in the gym. I feel inclined to tell you all this because it's not an easy road but the end result is amazing. It hasn't even been 60 days yet, which is my goal.

Stay strong. The motivation to have a better life keeps me from relapsing. Nothing worth having is easy and this is no exception. Trust in the process and you will be so happy you did. I promise.

good for you!

just stick to this. Imagine how you'll feel after you relapse, if you are tempted to relapse. Really imagine how shitty that is, and it will help you through those times so you don't.

Also, the key to escaping this, THE key, is replacement behaviors...replacing the times and situations where PMO is used, whether it's for loneliness, when you are by yourself, or at night before you sleep...setting up alternative behaviors so "if" you are in that situation instead of PMO "then" you do X instead.

This is THE key and guys who don't get over PMO don't because they don't find/establish replacement behaviors.

More info

I started jacking to porn in high school to playboys. But I met my now ex wife when I was 21. I was with her up until 2 1/2 years ago. So ya, I had a healthy sex life through out my 20s. I always jacked to porn and looking back, I see the progression of playboys to hardcore Internet stuff. So when things started going bad in my marriage, I jacked more. Towards the end, I had the on set of ED. I'd go limp right in the middle of the act. I attributed that to the turmoil in my marriage but the reality of it was that I was becoming addicted to porn.

So she leaves and utter depression sets in. I would sit in my dark basement and jack to get rid of the desire I had for my wife who now has moved out. So I met women but I felt as if could never connect with any of them. At this point, I thought that I would never feel the way about anyone the way that I felt about my wife. So I attribute my ED then to this women "just not doing it for me."

So I went on like that for some time. The last straw was around Easter. Was dating this girl and things progressed. We ended up in bed and nothing. She ended up not wanting to see me anymore. Also, one of the biggest signs that my brain was screwed up was when the ED pills stopped working.

I was in bed with a hot little 23 year old. It's bad enough I needed a pill to begin with but when it didnt work, I was like WTF is going on. For those that don't know, Cialis works only when you become aroused. So I asked myself, why in gods name is a 23 year old, 4ft 11, blonde haired, dance instructor not turning me on?

So between that happening in January and the episode around Easter, I was done. Went had my testosterone checked and I was fine. So I googled my symptoms and BAM!!, here I am. I even recently made an appointment with my psychiatrist to tell her I figured it all out and that she was fired. Lol. The sad part is that she was not aware of this addiction and I actually taught her something.

Although I feel fantastic, Im not in the clear. I still have a ways to go. For all you youngsters that got hooked on this crap think about this. You started using at an early age and don't really know life without it. You have no idea what you're REALLY LIKE cuz you been in this fog the whole time. Get excited about finding out your true potential and what kind of person you really are. You're gonna surprise the hell out of yourself!! It's an amazing journey. Keep your eyes on the prize it's worth the turmoil. Smile