Which stage of arousal during karezza?

Submitted by youngoldie on
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I just would like know how far men and women would/should go during Karezza.

Some time ago I learned, that women and men have a plateau during sexual arousal, means no further extitation for a while but then It's going up further after some time.

I made that observation:

1.During stroking gently my penis it starts to get hard, and I get nice feelings,

2.Then my penis is hard and the nice feelings are somehow gone, (seems to be the plateau)

3. To get new feelings, I need now to use faster stroking and/or more pressure. Stroking quicker and harder (or thrusting during sex) needs more energy and drains power, leading to a flacid one after a certain amount of time.

4. Thrusting even more, it comes to a moment, when the arousal pushes one to the edge of orgasm. But still you can decide to stop or relax.

5. If one starts to thrust still harder, orgasm is reached soon.

So again the question, how far to go. As I seem to have that plateau, with few feelings. And even my wife says, she feel not much during intercourse. Some tell to make movements just as much as to keep the penis hard. Others say to go as far as the urge for harder thrusting comes, and then to relax. Some even call that karezza, when they go clos to orgasm an then relax and so on.

One more remark. I tried a sort of solo karezza for about 10 - 12 minutes, stroking softly my penis until it's errected, and then just relax until somehow soft, and the stroking again. During that I got nice feelings. But sometimes the penis doesn't get soft at all, so i just made a break of stroking (up to one minute), and then again stroking until some feelings appeared. Even that was nice, and I felt very well and happy after that. FYI, I am about 50 years old.

So the question is, keeping i at that low stages 1 and 2, or going even into the No. 3 stage? Would be nice to get some answer.

You see, guys are looking more for that technical aspects and descripitions...

No easy answer to this one

If your wife wants to feel more, she may want to read Tantric Orgasm for Women, by Diana Richardson. I'm sure it's available in German, as she and her partner live in Switzerland and teach a lot in Germany. (He's German.)

Here's a trailer of her movie: http://www.slowsex-derfilm.de/en/trailer.html There's probably a German version too.

As for your question, just keep experimenting. Your sensitivity may change as your wife's does.

masturbation and intercourse are completely different

there are solo exercises to practice at least at first, but they are two different activities, completely different in my mind.

For example, when I used to masturbate, I would edge. That is, I'd get close to orgasm and then back off. Using porn. But with Karezza, on a scale of 0 to 10, 10 being orgasm, I stay around a 6 or 7. If I end up more at 8 or 9, that's very "edgy" and doesn't feel right the next few days. In other words, my brain seems to respond to it like an orgasm and I have negative fallout. I don't feel as good about my wife, I may feel tired and cranky.

My advice is to enter your wife slowly. Spend time hovering around her entrance. Play around there for a bit. Then go in a bit more. The fact is that all this "technical" advice is a bridge from here to there as once you get it, you'll have your own playbook and you won't need mine or anyone else's.

Then when you are really inside, linger. Stop. Pause. Savor her. Some movement is nice. Sometimes stillness is nice. If your penis gets softer, then do a bit of thrusting as that will make it harder again.

Strive for a not-rigid penis. That may be nice at first, but the best erection is kind of a semi erection, mostly erect but still not rigid. That is what feels best to you, and I think to her.

Now it's a matter of just being with her, savoring her. I focus on making sure I'm nose breathing. And my mind's eye is on my root, the relaxation feeling directed at my perineum, or pelvic floor. Tighten your muscles as though you were keeping in a bowel movement and trying not to pee, and those are the muscles that I am focusing on relaxing. Not seeing them, but feeling them relaxed.

The more I focus there, the more the pleasure is drawn up into my body but not if I look at or strive for that pleasure. Only if I focus on my root and sort of observe the pleasure out of the corner of my mind's eye.

Anyway, glad you are experiencing something. It's SO good. And her lack of feeling will come back I think. I wouldn't worry about it. She and you get huge benefits from this. Sensitivity returns over months and months.

Thank you emerson, for the exact description.

Yes, it seems that we've made similar observations.

1. The erection of the penis schould be up to being hard, but not going futher. Or even less me feeling more senstitive. Just playing around below that state.Thrusting harder will come soon to edging,which will as well exhaust the erection after doing that a longer time.

2. Sometimes I do that as well alone, but not aiming for strong emotions, and stroking the rest of my body as well. Smiling relaxed and breathing deeply. (And if you smile, you breath through your nose). Just enjoying my sexualtiy. Never exeeding 12 minutes. Me feeling sexually intact and working, and having a strong and peaceful mind after that. (So it seems one can give oneself some some oxytocin.)

3. What i ask, is if there is an analogy for a woman. The equivalent to an erected penis seems to be aroused cltoris, enlarged labia, and being wet. And not aiming for more, just enjoying that state with smooth movements.

Karezza appears to me somehow as extending caressing to the inside...

But, that doesn't help much at the moment. My wife is still reluctant to the idea of karezza - or she says: Is that really necessary to fuzz with all that hormone stuff. She had anorgasm, me being even not inside her. She made some few heavy thrusts with her clit against my penis... and than I felt it. Yes, and afterwards again all that behaviour - coming late to bed, being tired, even not responding to cuddling and caressing, and answering bitchy if I ask.

No fun for me. Im even asking me, if I'm the big molester...or if it makes sense to go to bed with her at all.

Oh, it seems that I've hit another topic...

It'll pass

Eventually she'll figure it out. Maybe you could quietly journal her orgasms and moodiness.Then, if ever she's feeling relaxed and open, you could show her.

I guess she wouldn't want to read this article, but it features some important German research. Smile (As well as English and Australian research) Women: Does Orgasm Give You a Hangover?