My priestess wife mentioned this morning how she felt – that women really need to feel deep sexual pleasure. “It’s such a longing that so many of us never get to experience – either because of mating sex, or because we just don’t know that a man is capable of giving us good sex.” The trouble is there is so much danger in the world today, so much sexual degeneration. Few couples really know how to cultivate sexual intimacy, especially on a level that is sacred and intensely satisfying.
I’ve finally given up trying to share this kind of information with the people I know – none of them want to know about it, i.e., they don’t care. It’s like they have an invisible psychic brain-barrier up; the moment I say anything that includes the words, “sacred – sexual – divine – satisfying” – too late, they’ve shut down. That’s not an exaggeration either. It’s the truth. There aren’t too many people who want to know how to achieve meaningful, satisfying, intimate sexual relationships.
From personal experience, I can say, women really do love clitoral pleasure. In fact, they themselves know this too, as well as vibrator manufacturers, because they’ve figured out how to capitalize on it by advertising a wide assortment of electro-dildos in senior citizen catalogs – pink ones, purple ones, dual headed ones, red and green get ones too. The trouble is, in many cases, clits get burned out from tongues, wands and all these electric toys.
But blessed is the man who can offer a woman his vibrant, loving penis! Once a woman is clit-caressed and gets this experience ‘under her belt’, OMG she’s hooked! There’s something magical about the electro-magnetic alchemy of ‘penis on clitoris’; it cannot be rivaled. Once the thousands of nerve endings awaken and come alive, the clitoris eventually enlivens the deeper sensations, longings and invitations of the uterus.
In order for men to learn the skill of sacred sexual magic, they have to work first and foremost on overcoming their ego-animal programming which wants to ejaculate and fertilize. It takes time and perseverance to build new energetic pathways from penis to brain. But it’s well worth it.
Women too, have to practice allowing and surrendering to the sensation of intense stimulation of POC and override the temptation to ‘eat the fruit’ (orgasm). It’s the same process for both. That’s why it is a good idea to train together. The man should slowly offer palpable penis sensations directly to a woman’s clitoris by moving it around her entire vulva – gently massaging her genital area with the head and the top of the penis shaft - all around the folds, outside the vagina – and when he gets too aroused, he simply stops, takes a few moments to settle, then begins again; over and over.
The woman, on the other hand must concentrate on relaxing completely, opening up her pelvic region. When she gets too close, wanting to push for release, she should signal the man by tapping him. Then he must stop stimulating her and gently caress her body, legs, back with his hands. Then start again.
By slowly, over time, and many hours, the couple learns to increase their focus, synchronize their breathing and enjoy the most exquisite delightful sensations for up to two hours at a time. The penis can begin to explore the vaginal canal and probe its way inside deeply. From time to time, withdraw and go back to caressing the vulva with the penis. Practicing this way, seems to allow the woman to experience a sense of sexual saturation, something which few ever actually get to enjoy. It also takes the pressure off of her to have to endure a lot of intense vaginal “banging”, because the man no longer is concerned with trying to make her climax. Instead, he understands her need for affection through slow and erotic sensation.
I’ve learned that this is a crucial key to truly increasing the kundalini energy – which, in itself, is an incremental and very slow process of inner development. To be truly successful, a man must completely abandon and forego ejaculation/orgasm every time. Any indulgence simply undoes and negates all the previous progress one has made. All dedicated white tantric practitioners know this. And that is why they adhere to spiritual practices that build virtue and character. They understand the seriousness of not wasting the sexual energy, not short circuiting the current through the genitals, but instead, transmuting the sexual energy up the medulla canal.
I feel that society is degenerating at an alarming rate, precisely because there is so much misinformation concerning genuine sexual intimacy between men and woman. In an age of ignorance, where negation of the ancient knowledge of sexual alchemy is commonplace, it is still women who suffer the most. There would be a lot more sexual interest in woman if they had an opportunity to be adored and loved by a man who truly knew how to satisfy them. I think the majority of women intuitively know this, yet still continue to suffer the consequences of settling, compromising for relationships with men who are needy, addicted or simply unwilling to serve a woman sexually.
Regardless of what my opinion is, the fact remains, there isn’t very much actual “sex” going on in the world – not really – real sex is about breaking the barriers of separation between man and woman. It’s about healing the psychic split and building a bridge of intimate connection, where each person finds themselves at a higher level of conscious awareness – awareness of the divine Presence that is within. To me, White Tantra, is a form of sexual magic that is a supreme expression of what it means to be fully human and fully alive.