Worried

Submitted by sterlingcooper on
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Hello

First thing, Ithink I have a fetish for blindfolded/gagged girls. essentially the damsels in distress thing. Ive always jacked off to such videos only, not actual porn.I had a girlfriend in college, whom I had good make out sessions with, and she even used to agree to be subjected to my fantasies. But the thing is, I have been masturbating only to this, that i dont feel regular porn is arousing at all. And recently i had a bout of hocd, and i went on a no PMO spree. couldnt go beyond 7 days, and now im on it again. My mind is a mess. But i just hope to keep at it, and see how it turns out.

Withdrawal

plays tricks on the mind. It definitely makes people more vulnerable to the urge to find a replacement "high." Read this for brief details of the things that happen to your brain during withdrawal: What does withdrawal from porn addiction look like? When you quit, your brain actually, a week later, grows new nerve branches to become more sensitive to addiction related cues. Maybe this is why you're suddenly attracted to things that weren't very interesting before. (Eventually this process reverses itself, but it takes time.)

In short, it's not all that unusual for HOCD to get worse during withdrawal. It's just your brain trying to get a fix of excitement.

Often, the best bet is to exercise vigorously almost daily. This and meditation, time in nature, socializing, and many other activities actually help balance your brain.

The worst things you can do are "test" your HOCD, analyze it, try to understand it, etc. That only plays into your brain's goal of stress and excitement. If you want to understand why this is, read this article and then stop anyalyzing. WinkExposure Therapy for HOCD?

Keep trying. This will get easier. And if you must masturbate, do it without porn.

But

Dude, thats the thing. I havent really cared for porn. I have always jacked off to the fetish videos. And it escalated from simple gags to blindfold to bdsm. to the extent that i needed something like that to get a boner.

-Day 6 of no PMO.