You Always Hurt The Ones You Love

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One of the worst things about PMO addiction for me is my mood swings. Happy and hopeful one minute. The next, I am judgmental, annoyed, and defensive. It's been like this for as long as I can remember. The ones who suffer are the few loved ones I still have in my life.

Today, I was on the phone with my Mom and Dad. When I heard about some diet my Dad is trying, I got angry and told him it's nonsense, under the guise of being worried he's hopping from one fad diet to another to the detriment of his health. But really I was being a judgmental prick.

Then I talked to my Mom. She was sweet and loving and so happy to hear from me. But it didn't take long for me to go into a self-pity rant about how much I hate my job and how I'm working ridiculously long hours, how I'm wasting my life working and doing nothing else.

When she tried to talk me through it, I snapped and asked if I was supposed to work like a slave until I'm retired? Was this the meaning of life? Was that why she brought me into this world?

My poor Mom didn't know how to respond. I love her so much and I hurt her feelings. I hate myself. Why do I do this? GODDAMIT.

I'm on day 8 of this reboot. Please tell me being a heartless asshole is a withdrawal symptom.

Comments

Really, if anything, the

Really, if anything, the problems you have before the pmo recovery are just magnified by the recovery process itself. In my 16 day experience at least. But I don't think this is a problem, it's part of it.
I am also changing things in my life too, by the same occasion. But really after two weeks or so you gain more perspective, you get more detached about this. Have faith !

Its normal dont worry..

I too found myself snapping at everybody and I am a calm, patient person but unknowingly for the first few weeks at least Ive noticed a short temper and I was a lot more argumentative. Once I noticed this I thought it was fun really since I've been too much of a nice guy to be honest. I guess you could say my confidence grew a little!
This should be the least of your worries man..focus on yourself,you need to be a little selfish if your gonna beat this addiction

I called them

and apologized. Thanks Richaroo. Good advice.

We all feel better. And I have yet another reason to stay clean of PMO. Withdrawals are bad enough. I don't want to be hurting those I love.