I started karezza with my gf on Tuesday and got completely blown away by the whole experience: the intimacy, the feeling, the lack of the hangover, and the accumlative process. It really is a hidden gem in relationship bonding. The only downside so far? Yes, u guessed it ...Blue balls!!! I've gone from having sex with my gf 3/4 times a day to not ejaculating, and I think they're suffering. Running cold water on them and visualizing energy being drained upwards does help a bit.
Some other concerns are:
"Only in the beginning will it be difficult; soon it will become very easy. When there are two persons growing together, many times gaps will arise because people cannot keep pace with each other; everybody has his own speed, everybody has his own unique growth pattern. But if you love, you can wait a little till the other arrives, and then, hand in hand, you can move further."
(Rachel) As for oral sex, I have come to learn (through Diana Richardson's wonderful books) that for a woman, the way to open her up sexually is through her breasts, not her clitoris (and this has been such an affirmation of how I have always felt). When you put too much attention on the clitoris, it actually causes the vagina to contract, not relax and become welcoming. She says if you *are* going to direct attention to that area, it is much better to do it after things have already warmed up, so to speak.
(Rachel) Someone who had read Stanley Bass's Better Than Orgasm asked about this passage in his book:
I would say that a woman should first have all the sex she wants, all the (peak) orgasms she wants. Thereby, she will get her subconscious cleared of her earlier frustrations. A woman can go into Karezza starting with unlimited orgasms, and later go into increased self-control. Later perhaps move towards Tantra and a spiritual path.
(lovers13) The goal of our lovemaking is to physically and mentally unite. We do it to comfort each other rather than to satisfy only our own sexual hunger. Sometimes we are aroused, but most of the the times we are barely aroused. Nothing can make us more relaxed than me resting deep inside her. We try to go to sleep together. If one of us is late to bed, other eagerly wait to welcome him/her. Sometimes we are tired and just connect and fall sleep. But most of the times we make love for around an hour or more. We sleep face to face lying on our side in a single pillow.
The lure of conventional sex
(wfk007) I've run into my first challenges with karezza. It has been awesome for my wife and me. My wife and I noticed how much we were in the moment. Our bodies felt every touch and every move. Things that wouldn't have excited us in the past have now become pretty intense. Add to that our new openness and we are very relaxed and never thinking about "performing".
(CuriousFellow) I wish everyone who is considering getting into a new relationship would read my story. I decided to postpone the sex, and enjoy the bonding behaviors. Taking the focus off of sex made the experience soooo much more relaxed, enjoyable, and less stressful than previous dating experiences. Here is my story:
This article appeared on an online magazine called "BettyConfidential.com"
The mysterious art of making love without climaxing.
(by Natalie Bencivenga) The idea of having sex without crossing the finish line may seem to some like a waste of time. Like Samantha from Sex and the City famously once said, “When I RSVP to a party, I make it my business to come.”
(vrabie) [Background] My first boyfriend J., who I met as a college sophomore, was of European descent but lived in Asia through most of his childhood, and had developed an interest in eastern philosophies. It was from him that I first learned about certain Taoist and Tantic sexual practices, such as controlled breathing and channeling energy up through the spine. He had read a bit on the subject, and being drawn almost exclusively toward men, tried to adapt the ideas to homosexual relationships.
Hi folks, this is my first post on this site. I hope I can provide some ideas of value.
The short story: 7 days into my first no orgasm trial, I decided to masturbate without orgasm. It was awesome, and I didn’t orgasm. I felt awesome afterwards.
The long story...
For some context, I’m I guy, 27 years old, not addicted to porn.