Is VICTORIAN sex the key to a more passionate love life? Controversial technique from the 19th century promises to improve any relationship
- The practice of karezza encourages a focus on intimacy rather than orgasm
- The phrase, which is taken from the Italian word for 'caress', was coined by Chicago obstetrician and gynecologist Dr. Alice Bunker Stockham in 1896
- By not having a 'finish line' couples will experience sexual energy for longer
Sometimes in a relationship, sex can get a little stale.
It’s perfectly normal, but as a sex writer the number one question I get asked is ‘how do I get those first time feelings back?’ The honest truth is that you can’t. There’s no way of making things totally new again. But there are plenty of ways of making them deeper, more passionate and more exciting than ever before. And isn’t that just as good?
I am posting this entry to share a wonderful experience I had with my wife. We've been attempting to bond together for quite some time but never been able to get past a certain point without orgasm. Whether it was Internet-related behaviors on my behalf or her doubts about the necessity of passing up orgasms, we just haven't achieved our long range goals as of yet.
We continue practicing Karezza very happily. For me especially it is incredibly pleasurable and gets better all the time.
This morning I realized when I woke up in my room (we sleep separately) that I could easily feel a sort of version of that pleasure I feel with Karezza, without any penis touching or even an erection. It was not a penis experience at all.
By focusing on my root I could feel the pleasure in my whole body for an extended period of time. Not 1% as good as with my wife, but quite amazing nonetheless.
My wife and I have been practicing Karezza for approaching four years, now.
I just realized that, over the last month or so, that I have not been 'reaching for the edge.' For some reason, I have been quite satisfied staying at 'medium.' It may be that I only now have fully internalized that inadvertent ejaculation does take a bit out of me, and that I can be quite satisfied by staying clear of the edge. Or, it may be that my body has become more attuned to pleasure, and that I reach satisfying levels without having to move to the edge.
We had only been on two dates prior to having sex. I'm not used to women moving along this quickly! She kind of surprised me with that. Netflix and BAM! :) Nothing wrong with that, but I learned that the kind of sex she really likes is not what I'd like, so are we incompatible?
A few years back I was introduced to Thomas Campbell's "My Big Toe." In it, he discusses how fractals exist at every level of reality. The most basic fractal is evolution, which he colorfully states as "grow or die." I've been thinking of the fractals that exist in bonding. I've come to realize that if I want to experience a deeper bond with my wife, I need to bond with everything. My morning coffee, the jazz music that I listen to on Pandora, the sun coming through the leaves, the work that I do, and even the movements of my body through physical space.