Hello all -
I am trying to wrap my head around the hangover issue, and will admit that in life I am a dopamine chaser.
What I have been teaching as an erotic practice to my clients is the non-negotiable activation of the parasympathetic nervous system via bonding behaviours and intentional trance state (means extremely relaxed physically and mentally) and being 100% present in the body, then attention and awareness of the sensation. This in itself is very bonding in my opinion.
(emerson) I know this is difficult, but it's a romantic fantasy that people are going to "get" this up front. However, once you practice this sex with them, even if they are not, the magic happens. This is my preferred recommendation these days. Open mindedness happens when you are the example. Expecting to find someone already into this is like impossible. But someone receptive...well that's different.
I was watching a show from the UK called Fleabag, episode 2, and it actually addresses Karezza and lovemaking versus "fucking"...first time I've seen someone in a show get this right and address the issue. Point is, though, that you first meet someone, then you have sex, and you don't orgasm, and they get intrigued, and things evolve. That's how I see it. Anything else is doomed.
The worst way to explain it to a man is to say "it's like sex but you don't have an orgasm." Who wants that???? I also don't like the "affectionate gentle intercourse" angle, as that never seemed appealing when I was on the dopamine train. But if you say "you prolong sex, have lots of sexual intercourse, and delay your ejaculation for a long time and sometimes don't even bother ejaculating so you are always ready...and you get this amazing sensitivity and pleasure throughout your whole body" that can sell guys. Or at least the right guys.
In a way, I wish I'd never learned of Karezza. It's basically made it so that I'm not interested in a partnership unless it includes this kind of connection. That's not a bad thing. It's just that it renders the information useless to me, unless you consider that it's kept me from the heartbreak of another failed relationship.
I hoped to at least be able to raise awareness of the practice to enhance the partnerships of others, but no one wants to hear about it, in my experience.
May the rest of you have better luck.
This is kind of a weird thing to post about, but I have been trying to get into a regular meditation practice for a while, but I have the experience of starting to climax when I do it however, which is putting me off progressing with meditation. I think it is worse when I am walking whilst meditating, but it has also happened sat down when I was focusing on the movement of leaves of an outside tree. There are no sexual thoughts involved, I just feel sexual energy building up in my body, as soon as I quiet my mind, then start to get the beginning of discharge sensations.
Today, after 1 month without orgasm, I wake up and I had one...great... Everything must be started again. What do you do to avoid this kind of uncontrolled thing to happen ?
I haven't been on this website for months so I'm not sure if this is the correct protocol to pose this question. Back then I had a conversation with Marnia about relationships. One of the things that she mentioned was the observation that relationships between men and women seem to be getting "worse everyday". I'm wondering if you, Marnia....or anyone else could elaborate on that...perhaps have some insights that could clarify or expand on that thought...i.e. why are relationships getting worse all the time?