May, 2011 Humor

Printer-friendly version

Secret to Marital Harmony

elderly couple

Pair-bonding Blues

I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.
James Holt McGavra

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Patrick Murra

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
David Bissonette

Daffy and Daisy DuckI had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Sigmund Freud

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Anonymous

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Anonymous

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.
Sam Kinison

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
Nash

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Anonymous

My wife and I were happy for twenty years Then we met.
Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Rodney Dangerfield