March, 2012 Humor

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Photoshop by Adobé


Andy Rooney on Sex

1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big pecker or a good memory.... I don't remember what I chose. 2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. 3. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy. 4. Impotence: nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings..." 5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together. 6. Panties: not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth. 7. There are three stages in a man's life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly. 8. Virginity can be cured. 9. Virginity is not dignity; it's lack of opportunity. 10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand. 11. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Answer: Breasts don't have eyes. 12. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life? Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't. 13. Question: What's an Australian kiss? Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.