April, 2014 Humor

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cowA Scottish Cow

The only cow in a small town in Ireland stopped giving milk. 

Then the town folk found they could buy a cow in Scotland quite cheaply. So, they brought the cow over from Scotland. It was absolutely wonderful, it produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy.

They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, so they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again. They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, 
the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull, and he was never able to do the deed.

The people were very upset and decided to go to the Vet, who was very wise, tell him what was happening and ask his advice. "Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. If he attempts it from the one side, she walks away to the other side."

The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered awhile this before asking, "Did you by chance, buy this cow in Scotland?"

The people were totally dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned that they had brought the cow over from Scotland. "You are truly a very wise Vet," they said.   "How on earth did you know we got the cow from Scotland?

The Vet replied with a far-away distant look in his eye: "My wife is from Scotland."


Priorities

Husband: I lost my wife. She went shopping & still hasn't arrived  home
yet.

Police Inspector: What is her height?

Husband: I'm not sure, average I think.

Inspector: Slim or  healthy?

Husband: Not slim, can be healthy.

Inspector: Color of eyes?

Husband: Not sure. Brown  maybe?

Inspector: Color of hair ?

Husband: Changes  according to the season.

Inspector: What was she  wearing?

Husband: Pants and shirt, maybe a dress or something ..... I  don't
remember exactly.

Inspector: Did she go in a  car???

Husband: Yes!!!

Inspector: Can you tell me the number, name  & color of the car?

Husband: License # NLH-638 Black Audi A8 with supercharged 3.0 litre  V6
engine generating 333 horse power teamed with an eight-speed tiptronic
automatic
transmission with manual mode....and it has full LED headlights,  which use
light emitting diodes for all light functions and has a very thin  scratch
on  the front left door.

At this point the husband started crying...

Inspector: Don't  worry sir, we will find your car