8. DUALITY AND SPIRITUALITY IN SEX
Unless we recognize that sex is spiritual as well as physical, we shall not understand how it is the great agent of love. For love is the uniting principle in the universe, and as all things have their opposites, that which reconciles and at-ones them, marries them, is that which we term sex. In the physical organs of male and female, sex is objectified in fixed forms, but this in only one example, and a very small one, of sex. These organs relate peculiarly to physical union and reproduction, but when we come to consider all the various ways in which sex unites and reproduces we find no limitations to these tools. On the contrary, the "duality" which philosophers constantly recognize in Nature is nothing but the larger sex-relation and interaction. All chemical attractions and repulsions, all electrical, are sexual. But we shall not understand this at all if we think always of men and women as such, or of physical males and females when we say sex.
Physical sex-forms are often very deceptive. Some women are more masculine than the average man, and vice versa, which accounts for much of the phenomena of homosexuality. In all deep-seated friendships between those of the same external sex it will be observed that spiritually one represents the masculine element, one the feminine. And masculine women normally love and marry feminine men. And when such come together, while his physical sex is male and hers female, so that physically he may impregnate her, she is spiritually male and may spiritually impregnate him and beget spiritual children in his brain and soul (that is, thoughts, ideals, purposes, emotions) that change and rule his whole character.
But the complexity by no means stops here. Each person is dual in sex, both in body and in each organ and part. We still remember our divine ancestry, still are androgyne and hermaphrodite. And this is not only so, but it is variably, changeably so. Sex alternates and plays through us all the time, partly involuntarily, partly as we will it. It varies even with difference in weather, food, fatigue, health, and all external impressions and internal evolutions. Thus one listening to an argument may be altogether negative, receptive, feminine in mind, till some word or thought changes the mood, and then, instantly, positive, projective, masculine - this change of mental sex possible, in the same person of either physical sex, within a few moments of time.
This has a very practical relation to Karezza. In its long, blending, intimate embrace of body and soul a great deal more than the more obvious sex-organs and functions are concerned. A similar sexual interchange takes place between all corresponding parts of body and mind, every function and every thought. Thus while her pelvis may be feminine to his, her bosom may be masculine to his breast; his hands may be more masculine than hers, but her mouth and tongue more positive than his. His intellect may be dominatingly masculine to her mind and yet in emotion and feeling she may control. And this may at any moment be all reversed. And this may be true not only of regions, but of small parts of regions, single muscles or nerves in one being masculine or feminine, according to health or stimulus, without regard to the possibly opposite condition of the surrounding parts. So of every thought, emotion or word. Could anyone view the two lovers physically, I fancy he would see streams of sex-force flowing from each to the other from every part, eagerly received, drunk up and returned, till it would be hard to tell which one was the most masculine or feminine. If the streams of magnetism were objectified to the eye, they would appear like filaments, making the two forms appear to be literally sewn and tied, netted and interwoven together by innumerable millions of little threads of electrical love and commerce. No wonder love is called "attachment."
But more than this - an unconscious change of mood or thought, or a conscious effort of the will, can reverse the sex of any part and make that instantly feminine which before was masculine, or turn feminine to masculine. This may be done skillfully and with delightful effect by those trained in sex-expression. The sexual motions and magnetisms, the touch of the skin, of the hands, the glance of the eyes, the kiss of the lips, the tones of the voice, all these can be instantly reversed from a tender, yielding, clinging, drawing, appealing receptiveness to a bold, positive, thrilling bestowal of vital force. It is plain, then, that the more points on which two lovers are unlike, yet capable of easy and loving exchange, the greater their capacity to give each other joy.
Those who aspire to sexual genius and mastership should take deep note of this, for it is very important: One's power to give sexual joy and satisfaction depends upon one's power to give one's partner a cup for every stream and a drink for every thirst - in other words, to give sex-force where the partner's desire is to receive, and to receive sex-force where the partner desires to give. All this can be learned and acquired, just as other controls and other self-directions can be acquired. It is simply tact and adaptation in the realm of sex. The woman who can be sweet, yielding, tender, receptive to the man when he is sexually virile and strong, and motherly, helpful, executive, when he is dispirited and weak, has vastly more sexual charm than one who can only be timid and passive, or who is always assertive and manlike. And the more easily and skillfully these changes can be made in the same embrace, to meet differing moods, exercise different desires, and to prevent monotony, the longer the embrace can continue, the greater its benefits and joy. Karezza is exactly like music - it may be only a rude monotonous rhythm, or mere chant or refrain, or it can attain any perfection of harmonic or symphonic complexity and execution. The character and individuality of the players, their natural genius or "ear" for the changes, and their acquired experience and skill being the determining factors, together with the quality and "tune" of the instruments themselves. Genius in sexual expression is just as normal and certain of occurrence as any other, and some day artists in love will be known and recognized as such — nay, even today, under all our incubus of repression and Grundyism, they are known and admired.
And it will be recognized that the sexual organism, strung with its vibrating and, delicate nerves, is an instrument more perfect than any violin or harp, capable of as exquisite harmonies under the touch of a master. Yet, even as the perfect music is not that which the mere perfection of technique produces, but that into which the true artist breathes his passion and his life, so it is with sex. It is not simply the man of training, the one who knows how, but the man who loves his instrument, and throws the passion and enthusiasm of his soul into the expression, who elicits the divine melody.
All art demands the lover, and sex-art is the art of the lover.