13. THE WOMAN'S TIME OF GREAT DESIRE
The desire of a woman is seldom so comparatively constant and steady as with a man, but fickle and variable, often latent, though the practice in Karezza tends to equalize the sexes in this, but there are times when, from various reasons, a wave of intense craving suddenly sweeps over her. Particularly is this likely to happen just before the appearance of the menses. And at such times the woman's desire is very likely to exceed in wild, fiery force that of an ordinary man. Wherefore it follows that very few women at such times get complete satisfaction, leading to great disappointments and marital unhappiness. The unexpected violence of the woman's emotion, upsets the man's nerves and causes either a "too quick" orgasm, or complete psychic impotence.
Now I think the Karezza-man seldom has any difficulty with the woman whose desire he has himself aroused by caresses and wooing. But when the desire arises spontaneously in her, her natural tendency appears to be to abandon herself to it, to abdicate all self-control, forget everything else and recklessly, fiercely, almost madly demand sensual gratification. This attitude is a very difficult one indeed for the Karezza-lover to meet, because just in proportion to his fineness, sensitiveness and real fitness to be a Karezza artist is his susceptibility, almost to telepathy, to the woman's moods. If he meets her on her own plane, the orgasm cannot be refused, while if he struggles against her for his Karezza ideal, he is almost certain in the conflict either to lose his poise or to become impotent. This is because this wild desire on her part is normally related to reproduction and is intended by Nature to overcome any male scruples and lead to an immediate embrace and swift orgasm, followed by conception. If, however, the woman wills to have it met on the Karezza plane, and converted into an esthetic love-embrace, then she herself must take the initiative and put it on that plane. She must begin the process by getting an inclusive grip on herself, relaxing her tense muscles and steadying her quivering nerves. And no longer concentrating altogether on the sexual, she must sublimate a portion of her passion into heart-love, into a tender desire to encourage her lover and assist him to complete success. The man, whose nerves have been thrown into agitation by her ungoverned attitude and thrilling vibrations, will recover courage and assurance the moment he senses the aid of her self-control, and his proud power will return when her eyes turn admiringly upon him and her tone and her touch give him her confidence and the cooperating support of her strength.
The wise woman, skillful and trained in her art, will thus beautifully control herself until the man has attained complete and deepest union with her, and the blending current of their mutual magnetism is smoothly running, and then will gradually, as he can bear it, turn on her batteries full strength, reinforcing and redoubling his, till all need of restraint disappears and she may let herself go to her uttermost of bliss and expression, to the limit of complete satiety.
No other time affords an embrace so completely satisfying to the woman as this, so full of joy to both, capable of reaching such heights of ecstasy, but to realize this she must understand that it is up to her to furnish her full half or more in skillful assistance and magnetic contribution. A woman should be ashamed to expect the man alone to be the Karezza-artist. She should take pride in her own superb sex-power, the poetry of her rhythms, the artistry of her acts. She should have an exulting delight in proving herself worthy of his adoration as the Queen of Love.
And always this should be remembered: The more heart-love the more sex-joy.