Or someone you love?
Many would-be angels have been snared by porn. Many millions of dollars (or other currencies) were spent to trap folks in this escalating cycle. And many millions of years of evolution unwittingly made the trap possible.
The situation is grave - and calls for a completely new and unfamiliar direction - but it is not hopeless or 'unnatural.' ...The fundamental problem is that we have all been turned loose in a physical body without the instruction manual for how the primitive brain operates. So here it is....
I was talking with my sister the other day about her decision to NOT have her new baby boy circumcised. I had never really given this issue much thought, but what I learned really shocked and horrified me, and I found myself wondering if infant circumcision isn't contributing a great deal to our collective relationship disharmony. ...
Basically the idea is that the circumcision (which is really partial castration) procedure is so unbearably painful and terrifying to the infant that it inflicts deep and far-reaching psychological and sexual wounds. This early trauma is then, in a sense, the infant's first sexual experience. What a horrible imprint. Is it any wonder so many of our men our drawn to pornography and fantasies in which the female (mother..?) is bound, gagged, victimized, harmed? This mirrors the baby's earliest sexual trauma....
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PEACE BETWEEN THE SHEETS News
December 10-12, Cambridge, England
Marnia will be speaking at Lucy Cavendish College, in Cambridge, England at a conference entitled "Suicide Bombers- the psychological, religious and other imperatives."
Toxic Western Diets - Food and Sex?
Highly palatable foods and highly potent sexual stimuli are the only stimuli capable of activating the dopamine system with anywhere near the potency of addictive drugs. - John Hoebel, a psychologist at Princeton University in New Jersey
In this article, a researcher at one of the top children's hospitals, UCSF, points out that due to our ignorance of how the reward center works, we have allowed profit-seeking companies to make our Western diet toxic (addictive). He's calling for us to protect kids.
You've just met a wonderful new potential lover, and you want to experiment with sexual alchemy, or controlled intercourse. But how to persuade a new lover to try the ideas? It's not easy. In fact, the script too often goes something like this:
At the beginning he agreed to try abstaining from orgasmic sex. However, his actions were not consistent with his words. I tried to explain the concept, but he wouldn't educate himself, and didn't go for it. Then he said, "we'll just be friends."
I should have left it at that, and he might have changed his mind, but I thought, "I would not like to look back and leave a nourishing experience with this man, which would be healing and helpful for both of us, just over the issue of orgasm."
Whatever the rationalization, the couple has conventional sex before trying a non-orgasmic approach. Swiftly the lingering post-passion withdrawal symptoms (which we call the "hangover") completely shift the lovers' perceptions of each other. Typically, he feels uneasy and defensive, and she feels needy:
He mentioned he doesn't want to feel vulnerable. What happens is that I feel Love for him even more, which is frustrating.