Reuniting - August 2009 Newsletter

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August, 2009

What If She Were Always in the Mood?

Consider what happened when male monkeys were paired repeatedly with the same females (who were always in the mood, thanks to daily hormone injections). Monkey heaven, right?

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Have A Laugh at the Gender Gap

Visit This Month's Humor Page


Letters from the Trenches

Wise words for those reaching for balance.

Also, read "My wife and I have been practicing karezza for years."

Read this couple's experience


Listen to PsychJourney interview with Marnia (or download it to your I-Pod). The Reuniting newsletter will be fading out over the next few months. We encourage you to sign up for RSS feeds, or, join the Cupid's Poisoned Arrow Facebook page.

Marnia is now blogging regularly at several locations, including Psychology Today and The first one focuses on evolutionary psychology, while the second features esoteric material. Visit and share your comments!

Click here to visit the Cupid's Poisoned Arrow Facebook group

Aldous Huxley on karezza's heritage

Every civilization is, among other things, an arrangement for domesticating the passions and setting them to do useful work. The domestication of sex presents a problem whose solution must be attempted on two distinct levels of human experience, the psycho-physiological and the social. ...

Our present concern is with the problem of domesticating sex at the source, of civilizing its manifestations in the individual lover. This is a subject to which, in our Western tradition, we have paid much too little attention. Indeed, it is only in very recent years that, thanks to the declining influence of the Judaeo-Christian ethic, we have been able to discuss it realistically. ....

Entire essay

The recipe for great sex: orgasm optional, research finds

..."There is plenty of evidence that most people believe that the secret to sexual fulfilment is technical," she says, "that it's about better manual and oral stimulation techniques."

...Significantly and surprisingly, says Kleinplatz, the study found two areas on which participants placed extremely little importance: intense physical sensation and orgasm, and lust, desire, chemistry and attraction. "What's interesting about the two minor components is that they're minor," she says. "So we now have empirical evidence that what most people think of as the major components are all but irrelevant."

In fact, when participants were asked about the role that orgasm played in great sex, more said it was not terribly important. "You could have terrible sex with orgasms and despite orgasms," says Kleinplatz, "but you could have optimal sexuality without orgasm."

[From another article about this research]Interviewees said that sex became “greater” when it became slower, less focused on orgasm and less “goal-directed” in general....

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