Because of our busy lives and somewhat long distance relationship we make the most when we are together. Started off oral to O before dinner. Before going to sleep we had sex. I stopped myself from O. We woke up in middle of the night, had sex and I had an O. The next morning I wake up to oral, and then sex (15 minutes). I was not completely hard throughout though. She is on top which is not my favourite position. I perhaps was a little sleepy, I left her vagina soft without O.
I'm still not hard on demand. I've become so comfortable being naked with her. But I think we are both getting really good at reading each other bodies. I am most horny in the middle of the night, which we take advantage of. Sex at 4 in the morning feels dream like. It's a really unconscious thing, it just seems to happen when we share a bed. It's amazing sex as I feel fully present. I never have any anxieties. There are no expectations at that hour. I'm trying to get to a point where I can enter this state at all times. To see sex as a completely fun, intimate act, without having any anxieties, worries, doubts.
She has decided to go on the pill. I feel a little bad because I know if I wasn't having problems with condoms then she wouldn't have to. But the withdrawl method is scaring us both and is preventing us from fully immersing myself in the act.
The reboot has felt like such a necessary step. It's been so much more than just getting my penis back into working order. It's taken me to a place where a serious relationship feels like a natural thing. I think I never really understood why people would want to be girlfriend and boyfriend before. I guess PMO was my comfort zone. As it turns out not having sex (penetrative) for the first few months meant we really got to know each other. It has had the feeling of a high school romance :)
I'm moving next week and for the first time we will be living close together; a slightly scary 10 minutes walk between our homes. I guess as we become larger parts of each others lives we will really start to find out what this is and whether there is a future. Scary but exciting at the same time.