3 x successful sex attempts in one evening

Submitted by intriqued on
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Because of our busy lives and somewhat long distance relationship we make the most when we are together. Started off oral to O before dinner. Before going to sleep we had sex. I stopped myself from O. We woke up in middle of the night, had sex and I had an O. The next morning I wake up to oral, and then sex (15 minutes). I was not completely hard throughout though. She is on top which is not my favourite position. I perhaps was a little sleepy, I left her vagina soft without O.

I'm still not hard on demand. I've become so comfortable being naked with her. But I think we are both getting really good at reading each other bodies. I am most horny in the middle of the night, which we take advantage of. Sex at 4 in the morning feels dream like. It's a really unconscious thing, it just seems to happen when we share a bed. It's amazing sex as I feel fully present. I never have any anxieties. There are no expectations at that hour. I'm trying to get to a point where I can enter this state at all times. To see sex as a completely fun, intimate act, without having any anxieties, worries, doubts.

She has decided to go on the pill. I feel a little bad because I know if I wasn't having problems with condoms then she wouldn't have to. But the withdrawl method is scaring us both and is preventing us from fully immersing myself in the act.

The reboot has felt like such a necessary step. It's been so much more than just getting my penis back into working order. It's taken me to a place where a serious relationship feels like a natural thing. I think I never really understood why people would want to be girlfriend and boyfriend before. I guess PMO was my comfort zone. As it turns out not having sex (penetrative) for the first few months meant we really got to know each other. It has had the feeling of a high school romance :)

I'm moving next week and for the first time we will be living close together; a slightly scary 10 minutes walk between our homes. I guess as we become larger parts of each others lives we will really start to find out what this is and whether there is a future. Scary but exciting at the same time.

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Nice to read man! I share

Nice to read man! I share the idea that waking up horny in the middle of the night allows for anxiety-free sex. If you see a lot of progression then you should just keep it up, it can only get better! :)

Congratulations!

Wow that really is great news to hear!

1. I'm super happy for you, it sounds like you've found someone really nice and who works well with you

2. You're experiencing all the things I'm hoping to begin experiencing soon, so it's very encouraging, and thank you for posting the good news to help inspire us

Keep it up Wink

Delightful news!

10 minutes!! Great. Just don't overtax your sexual desire. Remember, it's okay to have lots of sex...with seldom ejaculation. This has been considered great wisdom in various other traditions. It's only in this culture it seems totally weird. Wink

IF you overtax yourself, you risk projecting your neurochemical lows onto your beloved...and then she won't look so hot. Bad idea.

Overtaxing sexual desire

[quote=Marnia]10 minutes!! Great. Just don't overtax your sexual desire. Remember, it's okay to have lots of sex...with seldom ejaculation. This has been considered great wisdom in various other traditions. It's only in this culture it seems totally weird. Wink

IF you overtax yourself, you risk projecting your neurochemical lows onto your beloved...and then she won't look so hot. Bad idea.[/quote]

Yes after reading Cupid I'm very aware of this. I mentioned having sex once with O and twice without. I feel energised when I don't O (although sometimes a little frustrated) and drained when I do (although O is an amazing sensation). I might re-read sections of Cupid, because my first reading was in the height of my ED when the idea of choosing to not have sex just seemed like an obscene privilege.

I think she is aware of the problem of too much sex as well. She mentioned prior relationships where the level of 'kink' and novelty would escalate to the ridiculous. Needing more and more to get the same 'buzz'.

I've actually been a fan of the distance in our relationship, not because I don't want to see her, I always do, but because the breaks keep things so exciting. It has also enabled us to lead completely separate lives, which I think is so key for a relationship, and when we do meet up our sex drives are very high.

It's odd but now I'm actually looking forward to being able to spend more time with her outside of the bedroom. Catching up for lunch, going to a gig or an art exhibition. Being close means we will have time to do these kind of things mid-week.

OK, sounds like

you know what you're doing. And it sounds like she gets it too. Extra contact that is friendly and isn't sexual is very bonding, as you know.

Will you have to go away again soon?

We have three months

[quote=Marnia]Will you have to go away again soon?[/quote]

Yes, in 3 months time. It's by choice though. I love to travel and my passion (mountaineering) takes me all over the world. It's so much a part of me and who I am that I won't give it up. However I am willing to make compromises. She seems to understand. I guess it's the challenge of a relationship. Staying true to who you are whilst also working someone else into your own life. In the past I've valued autonomy and freedom over everything else. Recently I've felt my priorities changing. I guess this relationship must be important to me.

Marnia, how does lots of sex

Marnia, how does lots of sex with no ejaculation relate to not overtaxing your sexual desire? If you have lots of sex without O, wouldn't that be the like edging while having sex? Or does this require a different, karezza style of sex that is less intense on the dopamine?

The latter

At first you can just think of it as a mutual meditation. As your control increases, you can get more playful without feeling like you're edging....and then relax back into the stillness. And then sometimes...your go too far. Wink

This article might help clarify: http://www.reuniting.info/wisdom/neotaoism_and_karezza

Browse in Karezza Korner or read the Richardson's book or ours and I think you'll get a sense of it.