Day 82. Taking precautions.

Submitted by Somedaysomeday on
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Hi there,

My reboot proves an incredible experience. I'm extending it up to 90 days right now, but that's just an arbitrary number, as I'm not counting my days in the focused way I used to. I've experimented with a healthy masturbation on day 68, with success.

Now I'm being on my guard to not fall back in to a masturbation routine. I don't think it has anything to do with my masturbation on day 68, because it didn't trigger any chaser effect, and felt just right. But it's more the breaking of a routine now, one that seems attached to studying behind my desk, which I'm doing more lately as finals are coming closer. During these first months of my reboot I've overcome this problem by getting out there as much as possible and trying not to isolate myself. Also, I was not doing that well in keeping up with all the study work. :) Spending more time at the gym and with friends, which all proved very helpful in this reboot.

But now that I'm gonna spend a lot of time behind the desk until february, I think I really need to take my precautions. One year ago, this was just the time where the whole escalation started, and during the previous finals I relapsed...
This weekend I was working on a paper and I found myself unconsciouly going in the pants and sometimes starting to masturbate. It stopped right there, but it was a little shock for me that this behavior seems so attached to the studying.

I decided that I probably really need to unlink this desk-masturbation association and unlearn the habit.
I'm having confidence that I can. If I made it this far than I must be able to go through this challenge, right? It's crucial that I'm very careful and don't lose self-control for one single silly moment, as this can ruin the whole damn thing. (This makes me a little anxious, honestly)

So I'm figuring out ways on how I'm going to cope with this successfully for 1,5 months! Some thoughts...

- Although not my usual routine, maybe I can spend most of my study time at the library? This is a little sacrifice on privacy and silence. And libraries are just overcrowded here during finals. But maybe this is a sacrifice worth making? They close at 10pm however, and I regularly find myself studying til midnight. Or I need to start at 7 am in the morning, so that I'm finished earlier in the evening. (I can't imagine myself masturbating at 7:30am Lol Also studying at home is so much more comfy as I don't need to cook for myself and I can take the dog out during pauses. Still have to figure this out yet.

- I've just found this great advice on 'urge surfing' in the Uncle Bob's recovery tips. I'm trying to apply this mindfulness technique for all further coping requirements in my reboot. I'm hoping to unlearn this masturbation habit with this technique.

If you come across some thoughts or tips, please feel free to share them!

Kind regards,

someday

Comments

Oh,

I forgot to mention that I did have a tremendous time on a social level last week!

Reconnected with a friend I didn't see for a long time, had a great time at a toastmasters meeting where I got compliments that I was more relaxed and showing more confidence up front (thank you PMO-abstinence!!) and tried out a relaxation massage!
The woman who gave the massage was really kind and we talked for a while after, about psychology and stuff. This was a really fun, interesting and relaxing experience. And I thought it might be great to engage in some physical contact in my reboot. Seems that it was. Awesome! Wink

This is really working people. I've gone through a hell with the porn last year. Use your knowledge, self-control, willpower and hope and go the f*** on with it. Use your brain! Again and again, I did this after every single relapse. And as I mentioned, I still have to keep my guard up! This is very tricky, and it still is for me, but as you're gaining more and more confidence in your coping abilities, progress is what you'll see!

Glad you're finding

the suggestions that work for you. The guys here have contributed most of them.

Yeah...stressful studying in private is clearly a trigger for you. And that's not unusual. You could try wearing an athletic cup for a while, just to improve your awareness. You could also record your own hypno script specifically about studying and masturbation using the script here: http://yourbrainonporn.com/hypnosis-script-for-becoming-porn-free and fall asleep to it for a while.

Daily mediation also improves mindfulness. Variations here: http://yourbrainonporn.com/tools-meditation

What else could you "reward" yourself with during your study time? Stretches? Playing with your dog for a few minutes? Healthy snacks? A few minutes of meditation? I know they pale...but they may start to be more appealing after you rely on them for a while.