Sex please

Submitted by MrCrowley on
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It's been almost a year since I starting trying to give up porn. Been as long since I've had sex. I know I'm going to have a phenomenal relationship one of these days because of who I've become and all the great qualities I possess, but damn, where is she?

I've been doing one wank a week for about 4 weeks now. I feel like I'm building more control this way than with my previous "abstain for 3 weeks then masturbate 5 times and every day for the next week" plan. I might recommend the one-a-week to people who are struggling with MO binges. That being said, I think I'm going to have a wank (I'm not british, I swear) tomorrow, the 31st, and then try 2012 MO free and see if my Goddess appears.

Comments

Are you meeting

women, but just not the right one? Or not meeting them at all (in which case you may need to make some adjustments on your end).

The once a week plan sounds good. However, it may also be that you had to work backward to it...and couldn't have gone "straight" to that plan. What's your sense of it?

Congratulations on all your hard work, by the way. [ok]

Thanks

I am meeting women. I've been doing some flirting, chatting, approaching in various venues and getting some numbers. A few coffee dates so far, nothing too exciting. I read this article, http://www.sosuave.com/articles/at/nervous.htm and approaching became a possibility and it's been getting easier. Other guys will find it useful if you have a place to share it.

I've gotten a few hotties' numbers, but they were unresponsive to my calls. What I've yet to do is have a date with someone I'm very attracted to. My previous dates were cute, but uninspiring. Except for my ex whom I saw yesterday. She's gorgeous and told me I was sparkling which is funny, because I've been using that word to describe the goal of my singing, exercising, meditation- to "sparkle," as in be radiant. She's dating some fireman.

I've noticed a new kind of electricity in my eye contact with women. It's happened twice. Once with the ex and once with another friend. Yes, I would say I'm maturing in my relationship to female energy, if you will. Good things are in store.

With regard to the one-a-week. It *may* have been possible to start there. The "I'm never gonna masturbate again" mindset was overly ambitious and caused me some grief. But then, the chaser effect may have been stronger early on and made once a week impossible. The point I want to make though, is that with a weekly orgasm I still feel energy accumulating though at slower pace. With pure abstinence I seemed to build energy faster than I could build the emotional capacity to contain it. A chart might show "male energy" with pure abstinence going 100, 200, 300, crash, whereas weekly orgasms might show 75, 150, 225, 300, 375, 450... If I could look at my averages over the year and go back and give myself a system I might say Quit porn and taper off orgasms- once a day for a few weeks, then every other day, then every three...

Ok, enough. I hope this is useful, insightful, etc.

Very helpful post

I added the pick-up link to Uncle Bob. I agree that you seem to be very close to hitting paydirt.

Yes, I think "occasional" can be the best way for some guys to stay balanced. Trouble is, at first, for most of them, an orgasm is a trigger for binge-to-exhaustion. So they can't start with that. It's a little tricky. I'll add your thoughts to the healthy masturbation page, though.