how to allow oneself a relationship?

Submitted by Allowing on
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Hello, 1st post here. I'm male, mid-twenties, single, and I'd like to dwell a little on WHY really.
I'm sure there are a few folks around whom find themselves without relationships for years, and some may never have one - WHY don't we just go out and meet someone NOW, if that's what we want?
I'm convinced from what I've read, that relationships are of high importance to human health, and I do thrive on the relations to my friends and family - but have no romantic/sexual partner, which puzzles me: everytime a relevant person comes close (I mean, in terms of physical attraction) I tend to (1) initially show interest and ultimately (2) push away, leaving the other person uninterestet. I would think I don't care for my own selfworth with this kind of behaviour, but I don't know. I do not practise any selfdestrcutive behaviour, and share career related responsibilities, and I'm not depressed as far as I know. I have not suffered any childhood trauma either. I just can't make that initial contact, if I know it may result in a beautiful relationship for myself!
The more the other person and I "click", the more I'll be sure to show some disinterest *eventually*. Now that's not wise I know. I tend to think this is psychologically learned, and if someone can related to this and perhaps recommend a book exploring this exact "dilemma" I'd be grateful. Or share some experience. I've read many traditional "self-help/fix-yourself" books, which failed to motivate me regarding this.
Thank you for reading this.

Thanks for your post. I

Thanks for your post. I quickly browsed the links, and found them interesting. Basically this quote attracted my attention: "A part of the problem is that all love shy persons have different backgrounds, different reasons for ending up like this, different problem issues, and will require different methods for healing the wounds". I've read many a seduction book, because I originally thought I was bad at interacting and socialising w/women, but I've found that's not a bigger problem: closing the deal *is*.

Again, it seems I should just get my act together, and in the spirit of Nike just DO IT (ask someone out, or when someone actually is genuinely interestet, take her home or whatever, but that's just impossible for me, it's crazy (Or at least have not happened yet!). I'll have a closer look at the book and the yahoo group.

So seduction books have not been helpful for you either, or?