It’s been a strange year with things happening beyond my control that might have directly contributed to slowing down progress here and in life in general. Concussions don’t help brain plasticity and addiction control. Who can really know for sure? Overall, I’m not sure where I am. Some changes I’ve undertaken made this easier and others perhaps harder. It’s tough to guess where I’ll be next year, but at least I know where I’ve been. It’s interesting to revisit by notes to compile this data. The progress is apparent, but so is the lack of progress. Reliving parts of this even in this limited way is not fun.
The numbers are approximate due to the nature of the process. In 2011, I was PMO free about 83% of the days versus 63% for the last two thirds of 2010. There was a 50% year over year reduction in what was already reduced use of porn and porn-esque things such as craigslist. I can’t count online dating if that is for the purpose of healthy relating. Similarly, there was roughly a doubling in the average duration between use, which was mostly MO. Alas, because I’m a geek and wanted to delve into this in a way that gets beyond the limitations of averages, here’s a histogram. I was never much of a binger, but the pattern of back-to-back use is lessoning. This comparison also isn’t perfect as it is skewed by some long abstinences. The data supports what I already knew for me in that getting past a week and then past two weeks makes things much easier. It’s a very inertial process, especially after any stronger stimuli.
|Days Between Use*||Frequency|
*Date difference-1, such that use on back-to-back days is a 0, while a gap of more than one day, but less than two is a 1, and so on.