Reuniting and YBOP are gonna become very popular! Just wait.

Submitted by libralove13 on
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Hey everyone,

Here is a little background info about me: I have been masturbating since I was 13 years old. When I started 9th grade, I got my first computer with high speed internet access. That's when the porn and masturbation addiction began. I would masturbate to porn at-least once a day up until now at age 24. The longest I went with out masturbation through out that time was 7 days because I was on a cruise with a bunch of friends and couldn't beat it without the possibility of them catching me; which would have been really embarrassing. During that cruise, it was amazing how badly I wanted to watch porn and masturbate. I literally couldn't wait to get off the damn cruise ship to get back to my computer and fire up the porn. Pathetic, I know. I started noticing around 12 grade that I was becoming socially anxious. I constantly worried about what people were thinking of me. I have always been some what of a shy person but there is a difference between being shy and social anxiety. I had no interest in hanging out with friends. Socializing just felt like it required so much effort, I just wanted to be alone in my room. I was constantly tired and had no motivation to do anything. I had no idea it was the porn and masturbation rewiring my brain. The funny thing is that I had always thought things like "Man, there has to be some kind of negative effect of me jerking off everyday to porn". Since a lot of my friends masturbated to porn, I thought it was normal. I looked at porn and masturbation as my drug of choice, except it was better than a drug because there were no negative side effects. Holy shit, was I wrong. I soon began to have casual sex with a girl from school. The first time she gave me oral sex, I could barely maintain an erection. I couldn't believe it, I was finally getting a BJ and I couldn't keep it up. How could I be 18 years old and have ED? We fooled around the next day and once again I could barely maintain an erection while having intercourse with her. I felt so embarrassed. The problem then continued with other girls.

The social anxiety, brain fog, lack of motivation, and other PMO side effects continued to escalate. I began researching the internet on excessive masturbation and some how ended up on Reuniting and YBOP. I couldn't believe it. I began reading all the information on the sites. I was amazed how so many other guys were feeling the same way I was. I have been rebooting now for 6 weeks, with one relapse into week 3. I feel so much better. I still have a long way to go before my brain fully reboots, but I do notice around a 30% to 40% improvement. I'm more comfortable around friends and total strangers, I have more energy, more motivation, I'm in a better mood most of the day, and many other positive effects.

The reason I'm writing this blog is to thank Gary and Marnia for these sites. I don't think anybody realizes how big this is going to become. More and more people are going to end up here who have PMO related problems. Eventually Doctors and Researchers will too. Hopefully it will lead to more research on how masturbating to internet porn over time changes the brain. I'm not anti porn or masturbation, but this information really needs to get out because I'm sure there are thousands of PMO addicts out there who don't know that porn is what is causing them to feel like zombies. Thank you Gary, Marnia, and all the people who have posted on these sites. Good luck to us!

I'm gonna to get the word

I'm gonna to get the word out as much as possible. My closest friends are very much into porn. They don't seem to be experiencing the negative effects which most of us have felt, but I'm still going to talk to them about it. The negative effects could appear down the road for them.

Marnia, you're awesome. I

Marnia, you're awesome. I just wanted to say that lol. I want to ask you something. Why do you think all these guys on here who stop PMO for some time notice that women seem to be more interested in them? Since I started the rebooting process, I have noticed women flirting and smiling at me a little more than usual. I'm so curious about why so many guys are reporting this during the reboot. I have read articles about how men are more attracted to women who are in the ovulating phase of their menstrual cycle because subconsciously the male brain knows it's the best chance to impregnate a women. Could this be working the other way around with guys who are saving their "equipment" for a real woman?

It certainly seems to be a genuine phenomenon

No one really knows the answer. I've heard lots of explanations, any or all of which may have merit:

--Pheromone changes giving chemical mating signals

--Guys are simply alert to normal flirting behaviors, which they miss while they're porn-zombies who just want to scuttle back to their caves ASAP

--Shift in their energy to a feeling of "wholeness" from a feeling of "emptiness" attracts experiences in alignment with their improved inner state

--Guys' natural charisma picks up steam, and they make eye contact without even realizing they are engaging in an attachment cue

Who knows, but it's cool, eh? Wink

I have noticed the same

I have noticed the same thing. It seems like woman can pick up on some type of subconscious energy. Something I didn't get when I would go home and masturbate and the next day feel unloved or lonely and noticed not one female paid me any mind. I haven't masturbated or had an orgasm since 11/24/11. Wet dreams sure. I had 4 or 5 of those. But they don't count considering it wasn't of my doing but the body cleansing itself out of excessive sperm.

During this whole reboot. I seen two pornographic videos that were not my fault to seek out. They just so happened to be there at the wrong time. My rational brain managed to take over the animalistic part and quickly made rational decisions i.e. the consequences of orgasm and etc. It's amazing how the rational brain was able to respond that quick. Usually I would of gave in to the call and masturbated. I didn't and even to this day I'm still clean. I believe rebooting is the key to returning to the normal/default state.

Relation&reboot problem

Why do I feel like I am going to throw up?I love her and I need her in my life,I want to marry her,I like to have sex with her,but I do not know what to do.Here is what happened.My girlfriend made me to send each other nude photos and to masturbate on phone sex.I was masturbating very hard,and then all of the sudden,my girlfriend came on 10 sick leave from abroad and we started to have sex.At first I was not able to get it up,but slowly there were moments when I could plug my brain out and I had very successfull sex.We do sex about 7 times a day,mostly successfull but many times I get worrisome thougts like:Is it going soft?Do I feel anything?And it goes soft?I need time to be ready to have sex again,but soon as we have orgasm together,she wants me to come in again,less then minute of resting she forcely masturbates my penis and has sex with me and I feel mentally and phisicaly ruined,exhausted.Then she went abroad again,and I started reboot again,because I know the fact that I am not completely healed,now I am aware that orgasms slow down the reboot process.And on my day 15 of no PMO she started to talk dirty to me,she send me a photos of her orgasming,and I exploded and I had phone sex with her.Later on I feel disgusting,I start to hate myself,I start having fears,fear I am not fully man,that I will not perform well,that I will fail.What to do?She is my wife to be,I love her,but I fear if I stop having this phone sex,she will not be satisfied,and who knows,she has high moral,and loves me madly,but if her urges overpower her,maby she will find satisfaction on another place.Maby I fear too much,but sex means alot to her.Help me,I want to get healed and save our relation .

Dude, this is about *your* responsibility

Wow, congratulations! Sex seven times in a day is fantastic! And it's wonderful that you had a good time.

But...

When I read the rest of your note, I get that you feel helpless in this situation. That is not true, that you are helpless.

The truth is that you have to put your foot down. You have to be strong. You have to show leadership and those assertive male qualities that make a man a man in women's eyes (and your own.)

You are afraid of losing her if you don't let her have phone sex and send you nude photos and masturbate with you?

What do you have, if you have a woman who doesn't care enough to listen to you and respect where you are at? I think you under estimate her. You say she loves you and you love her.

Tell her in no uncertain terms what you want and stick to it. If you can't stick to it, it's a joke. You'll be far more attractive to her, and more importantly to yourself, if you set the boundaries and stick to them. Women *love* men who show leadership, who set out to reach a goal and who stick to their journey. They *love* men with resolve.

When I stopped having orgasms, my wife said, "are you REALLY not going to have an orgasm?" and I said "yes" and I stuck to that. Finally she believed me. I didn't care if *she* had orgasms all that much as that is her business not mine. But my orgasms are my business.

Your recovery is *your* business. If you are going to continue this dopamine fueled fantasy and masturbation when she is gone, it is going to be much more difficult for you. If you really want it to stop, then tell her what you want and stick to it, my friend.

And anyway, congratulations on things going so well.

Mistake,sorry!

Sorry I am totally out of my mind,I wrote this above via mobile,and this was supposed to be my new post,not a comment.Marnia can You shift this in rebalacing posts,please?