First off, Day 13 no PMO after relapsing on and off for 1 year. Day 400 of no Marijuana. 378 no cigs.
I used to be a rather carefree individual, a happy kid, with no worries in the world. That was until I discovered PMO and Marijuana around the age of 14. After 12 years of PMO and Drugs, I slowly started to develop clinical social anxiety. Not to be mistaken with nervousness or shyness, but real, clinical social anxiety with strong physical symptoms at times. Usually, I am rather "normal" but when it hits me... it hits me hard.
I often hear people say "get over it" or " be a man" or " just do it, whats the worst that can happen." Clearly these are people who have never suffered from clinical anxiety. And I agree, those are rational answers, but something about my anxiety makes me lose all sense of reality. It is as if I get so stuck in my own mind. Dwelling on the most ridiculous of situations. I can get rather aggressive or standoffish when the anxiety hits too which gives people the wrong impression about me. A coworker may say, "take a chill pill man!" and that makes me want to...PUNCH THEM IN THE FACE! ... oops, there's that anger I am talking about again. :)
On a serious note, I refuse to see a doctor because they will just end up prescribing me with drugs that just masks the problem. Those are the same doctors that say masturbation and porn is "normal" and "harmless" anyways. I believe quitting PMO is the 1st step but there must be more that I can do. I have read mindfulness meditation helps. Anybody else experience similar situations or have any advice? Thanks.