I guess I will have to say that I am in a reboot mode and going through a bit of a flatline.
Recap: In my low 50s, married almost 25 years, and never did the video porn thing but since maybe 15 did the M to pornographic stories. Videos and pictures couldn't match the stories and the pictures they created in my head.
So I suppose I was living in a very strong fantasy world.
I stopped all masturbation and porn maybe 5 weeks ago. And I have been practicing Karezza, definitely a work in progress.
I have felt very low in terms of libido in my body, but just as high as ever in my brain, if that makes sense.
I have concluded that I am going through a flatline period at the moment. It's just that simple. As Marnia says, dopamine is dopamine, and all that M and those fantasies over the years were addictive and I'm going through withdrawal.
Judging from reading other people's accounts, not as bad as many but it's got to be the answer to my difficulties maintaining an erection lately.
I think the bonding behaviors have helped me bigtime because I haven't suffered the way a lot of folks are or have here, but nevertheless I have to get through a withdrawal. There is still the desensitization of the brain pathways that I've learned about from Gary's excellent articles here.
I have had this issue of ED on occasion since even before I met my wife. I think it's related to the use of porn and the fantasy buildup in my mind and all that stuff. Since I realized this I have relaxed a lot more and that will help as well.
The idea of Karezza is not to be goal oriented and I want to meet that goal, hahahaha. Paradox, isn't it? But nevertheless I want to and intend on being free from worry about this.
It does work even without much of an erection. Soft entry works and even though I didn't really get hard it was alright, better than no sex at all. Karezza is very helpful if you have flatlining or ED problems and still want to make love.
Wow, I never dreamed this journey would be this far, this deep, this extensive. Thanks for reading and I really appreciate your help even knowing you are there. (you are there, right? )