Courtly Companions Rock!

Submitted by Oleander on
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Okay, must give an update on the Courtly Companion exploration I moved into almost immediately upon registering on this site.
The internet format certainly gives some great dispensations for really good, open communications. I wonder if I were to meet someone in real time as a Courtly Companion, would it go as well? Would we be able to move into our deepest feelings or would we remain committed to the status quo of being who we think we are, 'out there' and would the possibility of intimacy soon take over as the usual demand it becomes......not absolutely sure, but the opportunity has not presented itself in my daily life so my guess will have to do, which is that online is more efficient and perhaps fun as well. So cool to turn to my computer, log on and know I can spell out my real feelings and secret desires and they will be met in like fashion by someone of the opposite sex as interested in figuring things out as I am.
D'uh.... well I have no relationship to speak of and murdered all my previous ones, due to my inability to love properly, and therefore have no base of communication skills from which to maneuver around the delicate female-male territory. So unless I find myself healed of my trust and all other issues, and in the company of male who is similarly looking for me, I may not get a chance to build up the level of communication skills I need in my daily life, at present. So, then if I am not equipped to meet as it really has been brought home to me that I am not, then I am doomed to remain seeking because of my lack of confidence in knowing how to approach and respond to the man I do dream of. So then, I am like I was as a teenager wanting a job that requires experience but having none and not really knowing how to get any. So that tells me that the online experience is fabulous because all the logistics of dealing with people in the flesh and the body language and the social customs and expectations no longer serve as a barrier to what I really want...to talk to, be talked to and just communicate with someone who is male.
I decided to take this on when I read Marnia's line that all males qualified as Courtly Companions here, simply because they have been male since birth. Tee hee...I loved it and am absolutely thrilled to have found a real live male that I CAN communicate with and CAN be friends with and talk sex with and I won't have to offer anything more (nor less) than my true self in exchange. I love it...am doing well and look forward to my courtly exchanges with love and gratitude. Already I have learned that men and women are not so different emotionally and mentally, we just complement each other perfectly and only need to re-learn how to do that completely. I think perhaps I would like a Courtly Companion of some sort, for the rest of my life....maybe this is step one, and that one day when I re enter a new relationship, it will be in part a Courtly Comapanionship as well. I like it!

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