Day 27 of infinity. Playful banter.... gone bad.

Submitted by Confinement84 on
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Day 27 of infinity. The beginning of the beginning. I am a carpenter/painter of 9 years and I work with your stereotypical construction workers. You know the type? Shit talking all day every day. Busting balls, hating on each others work, borderline joking. 1 Bad joke away from a fist fight. Though it rarely ends in a fist fight, we'r often on the edge of a brawl, daily. That is not a stretch of the imagination by any means. I have been in several physical fights over the last 9 years with coworkers, including 1 a few months ago which I outlined in 1 of my previous blog entries. At the surface it looks like its all in good fun but deep down inside we all have some sort of grudge against another. A few days ago I wondered how it all began. We used to have respect for each other, what happened?

I'm not sure how it all started but I decided to put it all to an end. No more complaining, condemning or criticizing the others work. I mean why even do it? It's not like they will change, in fact all it really does is make them despise you and visa versa. Even though I decided to stop the bantering on my part, of course they still continued to make their remarks. How I responded today for 8 hours straight is something I have never thought of doing before. Laughing it off with no retaliation comments. And you know... it actually felt good, to absorb all the punishment and not dish it back out. Even though I have stopped the BS, it will probably take weeks if not months for them to realize I'm not getting mouthy back. After 9 years of this crap they will probably have that idea in their heads of the "Asshole John Doe" not the "changed John doe that turned a new leaf"(fake name cause I know Marnia will edit it out :) ). I am going to stick to my guns... be nice, appreciate my coworkers, and maybe some day they will return the favor.

Now this may all seem so obvious to others, and I agree. I don't treat my friends,family, and classmates with disrespect. However escalating banter on the job site became a daily ritual here at ______ Services LTD. If you didn't talk back, then maybe you were portrait as weak and soft. But who cares what they think? I just know I feel better not being an ass back. And if it continues, who cares? I'll use it as motivation to finish my college even faster.

Anybody else experience situations like this at work? I always thought of myself as the "fighter take no Bull shit type", but maybe I was just bad at blowing off comments and defusing bad situations due to my 12 year PMO addiction.


Myth of Male Power

borshajen posted yesterday a youtube series on The Myth of Male Power. Very good stuff. At some point in that talk it says something to the effect that men in hard and dangerous jobs like construction or the military keep abusing one another with words to keep themselves desensitized. So, the problem you're facing may be part of the culture. Everybody gets hurt, but in time they grow increasingly detached from their pain which helps them to keep doing those tough jobs. I think it's great that you're staying out of the game though.


I will definitely check into The Myth of Male Power. Abusing each other with words to desensitize ourselves is interesting. Question is, what came 1st? The Chicken or the Egg? Do we abuse each other due to being desensitized or visa versa? A never ending cycle perhaps. All the alcohol and drugs these guys use may be part of the problem. And even I had an issue with marijuana and alcohol before I sobered up a year ago which may be the reason I am taking action now (that and being PMO free).