This begins my journey of getting back to "natural love". Porn has absolutely wrecked my intimate life and I have to get back on track. Since I have ADD the need for constant stimulation is intense and porn filled that need. Time to adjust. The first few days without the high provided by porn is precisely like withdrawl from a drug. I found myself actually in bed with a low growl resisting the pull to porn. This is by far the toughest thing I have ever had to do but I am going to succeed. I found the senses that respond to natural arousal have become dull through the substitution of a fantasy parallel reality. This reality has taken me over and I have to get rid of it and retrain my senses to respond to a woman without comaring the moment to some idealized world provided by porn. The withdrawl leaves you exhausted, ill, angry and confused. I am still going through it and I hope that this blog will provide an outlet when the addiction strikes. It is good to know that there are some pretty straight talking folks here and that helps alot.
I also am learning how to talk about this openly. This is also very tough for me to do. To open up a vulnerable part of you life to strangers is not fun but I have to get this load off. I can't carry it any more.