Why are some honeymoons so brief/nonexistant?!

Submitted by Someone on
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Aren't we designed to be together about 4 years? What evolutionary purpose does it serve?! Such as the story about Marnia and the guy she met who who psycic predicted was her soulmate- that lasted only a month?! I thought if it was real it would last longer than that. Occasionally you hear of a relationship that was great at first and then ruined by sex- mostly for teenagers but not all. I don't understand this. No offense. Comments?

No offense taken ;-)

There are no guarantees as to when our mammalian brain will react to its sexual satiation programming and push us apart...or create infidelity, nagging or other friction. (BTW that relationship lasted more than a month. Wink It also had a number of "re-takes," unfortunately all occurring before I learned what I now know!)

The four-year mark is when divorce peaks across 58 cultures (or did when anthropologist Helen Fisher was looking). Even she noted that it peaked much sooner in cultures, such as Muslim cultures, where divorce is easy. In short, she was perhaps painting a rosier picture than the reality. Her theory is that mate stay together long enough to get a kid on its feet and then go their merry ways.

No mammals are sexually faithful. Even the ones we *thought* were faithful do a bit of cheating, and these "socially monogamous" mammals are very scarce. This means that evolution hates monogamy. From our genes' perspective, this makes perfect sense. The more diverse our offspring (as where we have a kid, divorce, remarry and have another kid), the better the chances that one of those kids will survive the plague or an ice age...because they will have different immune systems and other innate abilities.

Even "real" love can be destroyed by the fallout from sexual satiation, because it can change partners' perceptions so radically. Similarly a long-term marriage is not proof of deep love. Many marriages are economic/procreation deals, and continue for reasons quite apart from love.

Response to *Someone*

Psychics can only see where you *may* reach if you continue on the *same* track, and this applies to all parties involved. But the choice of changing track after the reading cannot be factored in, and this is strictly left to the persons concerned.

In summary: The reading may be *real* but the paths may change.

I leave Marnia to sort the scientific angle; I’m a bit lazy there

My thought has always been

that the relationship was fated...but that its role was to show me that it is not "who" we choose as a lover, but "how" we manage our love lives that truly matters. No one "gets" that until they have their "perfect" mate show up...and have sexual satiation lead to emotional distance...again.

In short, the relationship started me on My Quest. Smile

It is still unclear what

It is still unclear what evolutionary purpose this serves...if a couple are "pushed apart" right away a baby is unlikely to be born, (though there are exceptions) and isn't the father supposed to be around anyway....? It looks like a bug in the system...maybe the two aren't compatible enough to be parents (or thier genes are not)...anyone comment?

Genetic programs

work on populations, not individuals. The fact that a program backfires faster in some is irrelevant, as long as, over all, it ends up bonding a lot of couples for long enough to conceive...before they tire of each other and move on.