I have been struggling for many years against my addiction to masturbation, with mixed results. I have been reading Reuniting for quite some time now (which I found great!), and recently I have developed a simple method to help control the urge to masturbate. It helps me, so I thought that it may help others.
The main advantage of this method is that it provides me with feedback on where I stand in the sexual impulse cycle. In my case, straight after masturbation to ejaculation the sexual impulse is low, but it tends to increase over time to a point where it is difficult, if not impossible, to control it. This method makes explicit the level of sexual impulse and thus can help to control it.
The method was inspired by the sexual impulse alert scale proposed by Josef in this forum (thank you Josef!). I have simply taken his definitions, and proceeded from there. The method uses:
1. A "dial" containing the 5 sexual impulse levels, numbered from 1 to 5.
2. An ordinary monthly calendar with some space for writing, on a daily basis, one's sexual impulse level. Level 0 is used when the urge to masturbate wins the battle.
3. A spreadsheet, to record ones' sexual levels in the past month(s).
The procedure is:
- Every night, before going to bed (which is for me the time where I am prone to masturbate), I write on the calendar my current sexual impulse level using the definitions on the "dial". The very act of assessing my current level and writing it down helps me appreciate where I stand and to take corrective action if I can. If my level is low I can go to bed with a good certainty that I won't masturbate. But if it's high, instead of going to bed I meditate, or do some energy circulation exercise (as described in Reuniting) until I feel sleepy enough. Another mechanism I use is to use my intention and willpower to explicitly state to myself that I won't masturbate. Basically, I mentally say "NO" to the urge.
- At the end of each month I enter the sexual impulse levels, and the spreadsheet generates a chart . I print it out and hang it next to the dial. This way I can see how sexual impulse developed over time. In this way I can even forecast where my impulse will be in the near future, and be prepared!
- Finally, I mark on next month's calendar the day which, if reached, would allow me to have resisted the urge for a period at least as long as the previous one. I keep an eye on it every night, because it's an ideal goal for the current effort to resist.
The method is quite "technical" in a sense, but after all I am an engineer!
I contacted Marnia, who will kindly make available for download the "dial" (in PDF) and the spreadheet.
Good luck! :)