Joy

Aphrodites Chela's picture
Submitted by Aphrodites Chela on
Printer-friendly version

No O this year
I've treated my wife as a whore and felt entitled to sex. I've used a lot of porn. It's still in the basement...just in case this doesn't work out. But I am loving the joy and freedom of not seeking the Orgasm. I still oogle my beautiful wife and hug her and kiss her and feel her up and tell she's hot. It's sketchy and I'm new to this...haven't read all the stuff. I am an older man, 57, and am no longer drowning in testosterone. I can't imagine a younger man trying this out. God's strength to you all. I struggled and tried to quit porn a bunch of times. I'm thinking it's working now because of the joy I feel. Guilt and shame just don't work for me. Give me joy and I'm buying in. What I really like about dropping the porn is those images that come to my head now are of my wife. Again, as an older man my memory isn't so good, so if I don't see the porn I can't recall it. I do see my wife and I fantasize about her and I like it....and I like not being attached to intercourse or orgasm...I like it a lot.
Best wishes and deep satisfaction to you and yours

Comments

Day 10

Sent this to Oprah:
Thanks for your efforts.
I have used pornography for over 40 years and have gone through all of the stages from loving it, to feeling victimized by it, trying to quit, trying to get my wife to like it (if I could just find the right porn for her), feeling addicted....
I have been married to Kathleen for 30 years. I have always wanted more sex and since menopause her libido flew the coup. The 5 steps you outlined are good and we've got them covered. The scheduled sex worked ok. Sometimes I really enjoyed the anticipation and preparation. Other times I felt entitled and always got pissy and petulant if it didn't work out.
I was looking for help on line and found Marnia Robinson and Gary Wilson
authors of Peace Between the Sheets at http://www.reuniting.info/. As a consequence I have not sought orgasm for myself or Kathleen this year (10 days). This is totally new to me and I am ecstatic. I feel free and loving and better able to ride the tides of a long term marriage. So now I question placing so much importance on the Big O. I would like Dr. Berman to look at Robinson and Wilson's description of the neurophysiology and comment on their arguments against orgasm in the maintenance of a long therm relationship.
Blessings and keep up the good work.