Hey Marnia, have you read much on affective neuroscience? Seems right up your alley.
An excerpt from Michael Shea's "Biodynamic Craniosacral Therapy, Volume 2":
"The basic working models of life or filters are caused by the formation of implicit memory from the iprinting of life experiences via the attachment and bonding with a caregiver(s). Unconscious behaviors derived from insecure attachment processses with a parent usually result in the following affects later in life in response to stimuli: dissociation and/or withdrawal; projection of uncomfortable feelings and thoughts onto other people; activation and/or hyperarousal; and transference of strong emotions and blame onto other people. These four effects of relational stress start out as an embryo and solidify during infancy. This imprinting or implicit memory is carried through adult life and acted out with no conscious recall of its etiology because it came from a preverbal time of life. The rule of thumb is that these responses may not necessarily match the life stimulus and are consequently difficult to self-regulate. They are the most fundamental impairments to experiencing love."
A book that Shea mentions a lot is Daniel Siegel's book "The Developing Mind: Toward a Neurobiology of Interpersonal Experience" (1999).